Alternate Moments
by twilightstargazer
Summary: A series of oneshots and drabbles that I wrote for Jily Alternate Universe Week.
1. Bloody Professor Evans

**_Happy New year! *throws confetti*_**

**_I've really been lapsing when it comes to updating things, but hopefully that'll change with the start of the new year and all (it probably won't.)_**

**_So this is exactly like what the summary says: a series of AU drabbles written for jily week over on tumblr (which starts today and finishes on Sunday.) Basically, everything I've written for this week is going to be posted here and if you all want to give me any AU prompts (this is a not so subtle hint) you can leave it in a review down at the bottom._**

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><p><strong><span>Bloody Professor Evans<span>**

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><p>James Potter was very rarely truly angry, but at that moment he was.<p>

And it was all because of stupid Evans- sorry, _Professor_ Evans- with her stupid hair and stupid eyes and stupid laugh and stupid robes that weren't supposed to be that tight.

James Potter was very rarely truly angry, but at that moment he was very truly angry at Evans. He'll be damned if he calls her Professor.

But the truth was, even though James who was very rarely truly angry Potter was very truly angry at Evans, he was also very truly angry at himself for succumbing to the stupid bint's stupid tricks, like her stupid hair and stupid eyes and stupid god awful laugh that sounded like angels were singing from above which James would ignore because he was fully intent on trying to hate stupid Lily Evans, and her having a pretty laugh (and pretty everything else) did not help with matters.

The point was, if he hadn't fallen for the stupid bint's tricks which encompassed all of the above, then he would have never found himself in stupid Lily Evans with her stupid hair and stupid eyes and stupid laugh's bed.

When James had agreed to take over McGonagall's job (poor sod broke her leg over the holidays and was now out of commission for the entire term), he was pretty sure that nowhere in the manual did it say he was required to have mind-blowing sex – he means stupid sex; everything should be considered stupid when it came to Lily Evans – with his co-worker, no matter how good said co-worker might be in bed.

And really, if he wanted to blame someone for his misfortune, he would place it directly on the shoulders of none other than Horace Slughorn, who decided to finally take up the offer from one his former students to go gallivanting throughout Europe to see some of the most historical sites in the Wizarding world. He could have gone next term. Then James wouldn't have to put up with his replacement; the ever present thorn in his side, whose stupid tricks worked and would probably get him in real trouble if anyone ever found out.

Stupid Slughorn and stupid Evans.

But the proverbial icing on the archetypal cake was that within her first few days of being here, she seemed to have every Tom, Dick and Harry wrapped around her little finger. James would hear conversations in the staff room about how wonderful Professor Evans whipped up a cough suppressant potion for Professor Sprout when she was a trifle under the weather while Flitwick would rave about her charms skills. Students would chat in the corridor that Professor Evans gave out lollies to those who did well in class. And James wasn't even going to think about how Madam Pomfrey doted on the redheaded wench because, as if brewing potions for the nurse wasn't enough, Evans would go and help out in the hospital wing during her free time. Who the hell does that?

James prided himself on being the only one in the school who had not been blinded by Evans' supposedly 'nice' gestures. So maybe he had helped Professor Vector get rid of the boggart tucked away in the closet outside the Arithmancy classroom after he heard Sprout and Flitwick and yeah, he started giving out sugar quills whenever someone did brilliantly and he may have sort of picked up with the Gryffindor Quidditch team to give some pointers every Saturday. None of that was influenced by Evans at all.

Nope, not at all. He did those things off his own accord.

* * *

><p>It all started normally enough.<p>

James had Apparated to Hogsmeade with his things a few days before the school term was due to start, and it was no feat to make himself at home in the same castle he had inhabited for several years of his life. Indeed, Hogwarts hadn't changed much in the last five years. He could remember his teenage self running through those halls with his mates from Filch (who was none too happy about James' position) as though it was yesterday. Most of the staff already knew him from his days there at the castle and everything was going well.

Until the morning of the second week of classes, that is.

Dumbledore had told him - and the rest of the staff - that the substitute for Slughorn would be arriving late, as the Ministry required her to finish up the project she was working on first. James didn't pay too much attention; after all, what would this Potions teacher have to do with him?

If only he knew how much she would have to do with him.

Like every morning, he strode down to the Great Hall a few minutes to eight, making small talk with many of the students he passed on his way there. Despite only teaching for a week, his students loved him. He was by far the youngest on staff and he could tell that his students liked his approach to things.

So he walked towards the Great Hall, only to come to a complete stand still as soon as he caught a glimpse of the staff table at the head of the room.

Sitting there, laughing amicably with Flitwick, was perhaps one of the prettiest witches he had ever seen. She had thick, dark red hair that looped past her shoulders and when she looked up for a bare second, James could see a pair of brilliant emerald eyes. Her robes hung over the back of her chair, exposing her very muggle attire, consisting of a white shirt (whose collar James thought dipped dangerously low) and a tight black pencil skirt that showed off her milky white legs that apparently went on for miles, only to end of in a pair of black pumps.

He swallowed audibly and realised that he had been staring.

Stopping a passing student, he asked, "Who's that talking to Professor Flitwick?"

The student - a Ravenclaw, he realised belatedly - looked up at the staff table and said, "Oh; that's the new Potions teacher, Professor Evans. She came in last night. Dumbledore introduced her this morning." Ravenclaw boy then frowned. "Aren't you supposed to know this, Professor? I mean -"

"Yeah, okay thanks," James said, cutting off the boy before he resumed his way to the table. He easily managed to pull out the empty chair next to Evans and slide in, smiling charmingly at her as he held out his hand. "James Potter," he introduced himself. "I'm filling in as the Transfiguration professor."

Her eyes widened almost imperceptibly when she looked over at him and her gaze travelled down the length of his body and back up again, before she daintily grabbed his hand and shook it. James repressed a smirk. He suspected that Evans - like him when he first agreed to take the job - was under the impression that most of Hogwarts' teachers were on the older side. She obviously didn't expect to see any young faces. Or one that was significantly good-looking...

"Lily Evans," she smiled. "Fill in Potions professor."

"Pleasure, Miss Evans," he said, before nodding at Flitwick. He spent the rest of his breakfast chatting with Evans. He learnt that she was his age and also a Muggleborn, but she had never attended Hogwarts because her parents, who were new to this world, didn't feel comfortable sending their daughter off to some unknown school. Instead, Dumbledore managed to arrange some sort of tutor for her and some other Muggleborns so they were able to stay at home. Now, she owned a part of an apothecary and was one of the best potion-makers anyone had ever known, even having the Ministry commission her a few times to do things for them.

James, of course, told her about himself as well; how he came to Hogwarts and was one of the best Transfiguration students McGonagall ever taught, what mischief he and his mates got up to and how he worked in the Ministry of Magic but, since work has been a bit slow lately, he had nothing of significance to do, which was how he ended up here, being a substitute Transfiguration teacher. Their talk was cut short however, by the warning bell and they both had classes first period this morning.

They parted ways at the grand staircase outside the Great Hall.

He liked Professor Evans.

* * *

><p>He absolutely loathed bloody Professor Evans.<p>

Before she had shown up, he was everyone's favourite teacher. He used to hear students talking about him in the hallways and he knew that most of the female population thought he was fit (he was) and they speculated whether or not he had a girlfriend (he didn't) and if he would date one of them (he wouldn't).

And then along came Professor Evans, who snatched everything from underneath him in a matter of seconds, leaving him to fall to his demise. Soon enough, he was hearing everyone talk about how wonderful bloody Professor Evans was, while most of the male population was trying to cop a glance down her shirt; he'd already given two sets of boys detention for talking about her in a way that made his blood boil. James should have known that he wasn't the only one who could have found her good-looking (although now he would firmly attest that she was a cow. A stupid cow that didn't have pretty hair or pretty eyes and long legs that looked great in those skirts of hers and – Merlin, was he fucked).

Whenever he wrote to Sirius, he always mentioned her: how she gave out sweets in class, how she was way too nice to everyone (though he makes it sound as though she was kissing arse; he realised afterwards that maybe he should have worded it a bit better, but he was angry at the time so he'd be damned) and how she smiled at him whenever she saw him and how irrationally angry it made him because the stupid bint was basically teasing him as if she knew that people liked her better and that wasn't fucking fair, now was it.

Of course, this gave Sirius the wrong vision of her in his mind; he thought that the woman who was filling in for Slughorn was this haggish brute, who was rude and bought people's affection, which was nothing like the real Evans, but James wasn't going to correct him. He preferred having someone to listen to him complain about Evans and her too-tight shirts without getting teased, and he could do that as long as Sirius kept the image of the previously-mentioned haggish brute in his mind, because those shirts drove him mad.

James had been completely ignoring her lately, because he realised that the less her saw and interacted with Evans, then the less he would think about her. And the less he thought about her, then the better it was for his sanity. The only downside to this plan was that she stopped giving him those little smiles of hers. He guessed that he could live with that.

James managed ignoring her for two weeks straight.

He would have lasted longer, but he saw her in the library tutoring a first year and couldn't help himself.

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><p>He didn't know why he was in the library of all places. He was just jaywalking and for some reason his feet led him here. About to turn back, he suddenly caught a glance of dark red hair that could only belong to Evans. Suddenly the library didn't seem like a bad idea.<p>

She was sitting with what looked like a first year, a patient look on her face as she helped him with his wand movements. James wandered over to the Transfiguration section, where he pretended to thumb through a few textbooks as he watched them. She appeared to tutoring him in something.

Luckily enough, they seemed to be at the end of their lesson and James watched as she gave the little blighter a smile before sending him off with a lolly. Once he left, she methodically began packing her things. James, acting as inconspicuously as he could, grabbed a few of the biggest, heaviest and most complicated Transfiguration textbooks that he could find before walking towards her, 'accidentally' bumping into her shoulder.

"Sorry," he said, easily placing the books on the desk before facing her. "All right, Evans?"

The witch in question harrumphed belligerently, dusting off her shoulders before replying coolly, "Fine, Potter."

He leant against the desk, one hand in his pocket while the other tangled itself in his hair. She was wearing her typical Muggle wear: a pair of jeans and (James sent a small prayer to whoever was listening up there) thankfully, a normal t-shirt with something that looked like 'Pink Floyd' written on it. As if he knew what that was.

"What're you up to this fine evening?" he asked, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

She held her head proudly and said, "I don't believe that's any of your business."

James blinked, clearly taken aback. He had never heard her be so curt with anyone before. Craning his neck, he struggled to see the title of one of her textbooks. Too late did Lily realise what he was trying to do and she immediately slapped her hand down on the cover to block his view, but he had already seen.

"Charms?" he asked, surprised.

"Yes Potter, Charms," she hissed as she began to grab her things helter skelter. At this point, James noticed some of the students beginning to watch them, whispering behind their hands. "Does it amaze you that I know how to do other things besides Potions? I'll have you know that if you ever decide to pull your head out of your arse you'll realise that you're not some sort of special being here on earth. Other people can do things just as well as you!" she snapped.

Her voice had risen significantly and almost all the students in that section of the library were watching them in rapture. James narrowed his eyes and said, "Isn't it a bit pretentious of you to go around helping first years with Charms? I'm sure if Flitwick knew he needed help he would have arranged for a seventh year to help and not another teacher."

"You bastard," she swore, struggling to grab her things. A book slipped out and landed on the floor, but she didn't notice. "It's not pretentious one bit," she spat, shoving her wand in her pocket. "And I'll have you know that Flitwick _asked_ me to help, you tosser!"

She turned on her heel, storming out of the library and leaving a very angry and very stunned James Potter. Realising that everyone was still watching him, he banished the heavy Transfiguration tomes and picked up the book that slipped out of her grasp before he too stomped out of the library, back to his office where a bottle of Firewhiskey was beckoning him, as he wrote yet another letter to Sirius.

Bloody Evans yelling at him back there. He didn't even know what they were fighting over! In fact, all he knew was that for some reason, Evans made him angry beyond belief and he was willing to bet that he did the same to her.

Bloody Evans.

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><p>Their little spectacle in the library had been the main source of gossip for at least a week after, and James was surprised that Dumbledore hadn't called them up to his office to discuss it. He and Evans made sure to keep out of each other's way since then.<p>

Now however, it was the middle of October and subsequently, the first Hogsmeade visit of the term. Being a teacher, James could go to Hogsmeade whenever he fancied, but with all the work he had to do, he barely had any free time. Today though, he was using this opportunity to meet up with Sirius for a drink or two in one of the pubs. Since he began working at Hogwarts, he'd only communicated with his best friend through letters and their magic mirrors.

Sirius was waiting for him when he entered the Three Broomsticks that morning. Jokes were made, pleasantries exchanged and the two of them sat down in the pub and talked for hours on end.

James was in the middle of some spiel when he realised that Sirius' attentions were no longer on him, but on something behind his left shoulder. Thoroughly annoyed, he rapped the side of his head sharply and said, "Oi, I was talking to you, you blighter."

He shrugged unapologetically. "Sorry, a very fit bird just strolled in here and I'm afraid she's more interesting than you, Prongs."

James glared at him. "If you're looking at one of the students, Sirius, I swear to Merlin, I'll-"

"Don't get your knickers in knot," Sirius scoffed. "I don't intend on jeopardizing your beloved students' reputation. Besides, she looks too old to be in Hogwarts."

He rolled his eyes and turned around. "Then who the hell are you-" James froze and his eyes almost bugged out of his head. Sitting on the barstool was a pretty redheaded witch, clad in muggle jeans and a blue jumper.

Evans.

Bloody hell.

James had never got around to telling Sirius that who he thought Evans was, wasn't really Evans. In fact, he never really thought that he would have to tell Sirius that Evans wasn't the size of a baby beluga and wasn't haggish and rude the slightest, but in fact probably the nicest person to everyone who wasn't named James Potter. But someone didn't relay that plan to her, because here she sat in the Three Broomsticks, directly in Sirius' line of vision and he already thought that she was fit. Brilliant.

The scraping of a chair jolted James out of his reverie and he looked up to see Sirius standing, obviously intending on heading over to the counter where Evans sat. James almost fell off his chair.

"What - what are you doing?" he asked, stumbling out of his chair.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "What does it look like I'm doing James? I'm going to buy the bird a drink."

James blocked him as he tried to sidestep around him. "You really shouldn't do that."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "And why shouldn't I?"

"Because- because," James sputtered.

A small cough came from behind them. "If you could refrain from making such a clamour, Potter, that would be lovely," a new voice said softly, but James could hear the snarkiness lurking below the surface.

"You know each other?" Sirius asked James, surprised.

Before James could reply, Lily scoffed and said, "Unfortunately, yes." She smiled at Sirius. "We work together, you see, and Potter's a right pain."

"Of course he is," Sirius agreed. He smiled charmingly at her and extended a hand. "Sirius Black."

Lily took it, smiling all the while. "Lily Evans."

Fuck.

James saw the flash of recognition in Sirius' eyes and he glanced over at James. "It's been lovely to meet you, Miss Evans, but I'm afraid I need to get this tosser," he jerked his thumb at James, "Back to the castle before he causes an even bigger ruckus."

"It's been a pleasure, Mr. Black," she said sweetly, before turning back to her drink.

With the tip of an imaginary top hat, Sirius bid farewell to the redhead before pulling James out of the pub with him and giving him the best glare he could muster. "Oh yeah," he said. "What a cow. Lily Evans is definitely the worst person I've ever met Prongs."

"Shut up."

"You're a terrible judge of character, you know. I mean, look at the girl! She's gorgeous! And she has to have a good mind if Dumbledore hired her. Plus she's funny and-" Sirius stopped talking immediately as his eyes brightened in realisation. "And you fancy her," he said slowly, at last.

"What?" said James, stopping suddenly. He squinted at his best friend. "Are you drunk?"

"You fancy her!"

"No, I don't!"

"You fancy Evans!"

"Fuck off, Sirius!"

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><p>All right, so maybe he did.<p>

Just a little bit.

But it was Evans, for Merlin's sake! The bird positively hated him! And he should hate her too, after all, wasn't she trying to get everyone to like her more than him? Why did she want people to ignore him? He knew that her helping out and being generous was just something that she did, but it still didn't help his wounded pride. So he should hate her. That was way easier than doing what Sirius suggested. Honestly, why would he try talking to the girl? James was sure that once he opened his mouth she might have hexed him.

He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. Were all women this complicated?

The only thing he knew was that Evans hated him for some unknown reason, and if he continued trying to figure out why, then chances were he would go mad. The only person who knew was Evans and she sure as hell wouldn't tell him.

Stupid bird.

One minute she was smiling and being nice with him, and then the next they were yelling at each other in the library for no damn reason and... yeah, okay, maybe Sirius was right. They should talk about things.

Merlin, he was such a pansy.

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><p>After several minutes of pacing and talking to himself, James found himself standing in front of Evans' door, clutching the Charms textbook she had dropped in the library all those weeks ago. He needed some excuse for popping into her room. When she opened the door, he obviously couldn't say, <em>'Well Evans, I sort of fancy you and think you're fit but you seem to hate me and I'm confused now. Help a bloke out?' <em>

That would earn him a slap, at least.

At this point, that simple wooden door looked awfully daunting as he stood in front of it.

Merlin, he was afraid to knock on a door. Godric Gryffindor must have been rolling over in his grave at the moment.

Straightening his back with grim determination, James raised his free arm and knocked sharply on the door. He waited for a few moments, but there was no answer. Frowning, he knocked again, louder this time. "Evans?" he called, pressing close to the wood, "Are you in there?"

No answer.

His shoulders sagged. All of that build up, that mental preparation for what he was about to get into - what he was planning to get into - and she wasn't even there. Of course. Just as his luck would have it. James turned, fully intending on going back to his room, when he heard the door open and Evans' voice incredulously saying, "Potter?"

He turned back around. Her hair was wet and she looked as though she just threw on a dressing gown over her clothes (or, as James' terrible mind jumped to, lack thereof). She cleared her throat. "What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice sounding thick.

James narrowed his eyes and ignored her question. "All right there, Evans?" He took a closer look at her appearance and noticed that her nose was rubbed raw and her eyes rimmed red. "You're not ill, are you? Because you looked perfectly fine earlier -"

"No," she cut him off. "I'm fine. It's nothing."

He knew that it obviously wasn't 'nothing', but he certainly was not going to push her, not when the two of them were actually having a conversation without any yelling, insults or use of expletives. "All right... if you say so," he replied warily, before handing the book out to her. "I - er, had this for a while."

She took the book, glancing at the cover and turning it over in her hands before looking up at him suspiciously. "I was missing it ever since tutoring in the library," she said flatly.

James ruffled his hair and grinned sheepishly. "You might have dropped it and I might have picked it up. I fully intended on giving it back to you!" he quickly reassured her.

"And yet you kept it for almost three weeks."

He didn't know how to respond to that, and was left standing speechless in the middle of the corridor like a moron. But then Lily did something that would have struck him speechless if he had been speaking; she laughed. Not some sort of fake, derisive snort, but a genuine laugh. James froze like a deer in headlights, one hand still stuck in his hair, as she threw her head back and simply laughed. At what, he had no idea. Perhaps she was going a bit mad.

"Goodness, Potter," she said indulgently. "You really are something."

"Um..."

"Would you like to come in for a drink?"

He stared at her. Merlin, she really was going mad, wasn't she? "A what?"

"A drink," she said coyly. "Surely you of all people are most familiar with the concept. After all, don't you have an entire stash of Firewhiskey in your office?" She grinned at him, making him even more confused.

"Er, okay - wait," he narrowed his eyes at her. "How did you know that I have Firewhiskey in my office?"

She smirked - _holy mother of Merlin_, James tried to ignore what that smirk did to him, but it didn't help. "Well, I certainly can't give away all my secrets in one go, now can I?" she said, still smirking. "So how about that drink, Potter?"

Not knowing that he was probably digging his own grave, James nodded and followed her into her chambers, where she locked the door behind him.

Her room was an exact replica of his, though decidedly neater. There was a bed in the centre with a large bookshelf next to it, packed to the brink with novels and textbooks, and a desk pushed off to the side, covered in neat stacks of paper and, what caught James' attention, a bottle of half-finished Firewhiskey.

"Started already, have you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just a glass or two," she replied sweetly, though he could hear the underlying stiffness to her voice and decided it was best if he dropped the subject. Lily handed him a glass before pouring out her own, which was significantly fuller than his. He murmured his thanks and took a measured sip, having long learnt to ignore the burning sensation as the liquid made its way down his throat. James was sure that if he knew that all of this was part of her evil plan, he would have already hightailed out of there and barricaded himself in his office, but right then, he didn't see it as anything more than a drink between two co-workers. Poor naive little sod.

They both drank quietly, Lily leaning against her desk while James stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, trying to look anywhere besides Lily in her loosely-tied dressing gown. His eyes landed on a piece of crumpled parchment that had been smoothened out over by her bed.

"What's that?" he asked, reading it through.

She hastened to grab the letter and tuck it underneath one of the million stacks of parchment on her desk. "Have you always been this nosy?" she glared.

James ignored her. "Who's Petunia?"

What little colour Lily had on her face disappeared and she turned her head away from him, taking up glaring at the wall instead. "That's none of your business," she snapped in an attempt to dissuade him, but her voice cracked and wobbled slightly at the end.

He stayed steadfast. "Come on, Evans," he coaxed. "Who's this Petunia bird and what did she do to make you so upset? Tell me; I'll find her and transfigure her into a-"

"She's my sister!" Lily blurted out. She turned back to face James and he was surprised to see tears brimming in her eyes. (All part of her scheme, he would realise later, but he was still a poor naive little sod.) Somewhere in the back of his mind it clicked that that was the reason for her appearance when she opened the door earlier. She was crying. Because of this Petunia bird. Sister or not, James was terribly angry on Lily's behalf.

"What happened?" he asked softly, in an attempt to sound concerned, but he probably came off as uncomfortable more than anything else.

Lily looked torn, as though one part of her wanted to tell him while the other wanted nothing more than to hex his little nosy arse out of her room. Eventually the former won and she sighed, "We've always been fighting since she found out I was a witch. She's the reason why I wanted to stay closer to home and study, but... but it never worked out." She sniffed, and wiped at her eyes. She looked so broken (_she was playing you, you tosser_) that James just wanted to stride over there and hold her, but he refrained.

"Tuney absolutely hates magic. She says it's unnatural. I've tried... to talk to her, but she won't have it. She's already set in her beliefs, and now refuses to talk to me, unless it's to throw some insult or the other." She sighed again, before smiling wryly and nodding to the letter she'd hidden. "That was the first bit of correspondence that I've had with her in months and it was just her telling me that she doesn't want to see me at her wedding."

A heavy silence descended upon them, only broken by Lily's sharp intakes of shuddering breath. James stood silently, swirling around the contents of his glass before saying, "Well, I think that your sister is a right idiot."

Lily's head snapped up at this. "What-"

"I mean really, magic is brilliant and you're probably overreacting to things. I'm sure she doesn't hate you. She can't hate her own s-"

"But she does," Lily cut him off. "She does hate me, James. She's said it a million times. She even wrote it in the letter." She started rifling around for the dratted parchment when James crossed the floor in two strides and took her by the shoulders.

"No one can hate you, Evans," he said dryly. "You're practically impossible to hate."

She looked up at him from under her wet lashes. "You hate me," she said in a small voice.

She watched him carefully as another round of quietude came upon them. "Trust me," James said, sounding slightly strangled. "I'm quite sure it was possibly the opposite."

Her eyes widened in shock, and before either of them knew what was going on they were kissing, and soon enough he was untying her dressing gown and pushing her camisole off her shoulders while she tugged his shirt out of his trousers and fought with the buttons, and soon enough it was skin on skin as they finally made it to her bed.

* * *

><p>Idiot.<p>

He was a right fucking idiot.

All the time he was saying that Evans was an evil, manipulative cow who was not to be trusted. And yet, all she had to do was tear up, sprout some sort of sob story and bat her eyelashes at him all while wearing that stupid dressing gown which already had his mind juggling up scenarios as to what lay underneath it and he'd end up jumping into bed with her.

Merlin he was so, so _stupid_.

He should have seen through her tricks.

James Potter was very truly angry with Evans (and himself, but he was by far angrier at Evans) for seducing him into her bed.

Never mind that it had been ages since he'd done that with anyone else, and Evans was bloody good at it (no; he would refuse to think of her as good in bed any more. From now on, he would say that she was terrible) but he should have known what was happening while it was happening and not when he was sneaking out of her chambers at two in the morning.

James groaned and slammed his head down on his desk. Ever since the activities of Saturday night, James had been ignoring her - or the correct term might be 'hiding from her'- for the past three days. He went out of his way to take the long routes to his class and office and made sure to sneak into the Great Hall just before meals began and sneak out as soon as they were finished.

It was pathetic of him, he knew, but he would do anything to not see Evans' surely gloating face.

Stupid Evans.

There was a knock at the door and James froze, hoping that whoever it was would realise that no one was there. Unfortunately, the knocking got more incessant and James ended up sliding out of his chair, swearing.

"All right, keep your bloody knickers on; I'm coming," he muttered under his breath before opening the door.

The first thought that went through his mind when he opened the door was, 'Or off,' a continuation of his former statement. The second thought that went through his mind was that he should not be thinking things like that, because he had already firmly established that on the list of things he wanted to think about, Lily Evans' knickers were at the complete bottom of it.

He gaped at the witch in front of him, who looked to be splitting hairs.

"Evans?" he asked, obviously confused, because why was she standing in front of his office looking ready to murder someone and why was she pushing her way inside and locking the door and - oh.

It's him she's going to murder, isn't it?

Brilliant.

"James Potter, you ignorant moron," she hissed. She had her wand clutched in her hand and James took a step back, afraid, and rightfully so. "You've been ignoring me for three days!"

He held his hands up. "Look Evans, I can explain -"

"I'd like to hear that," she scoffed. "I thought you weren't like those other blokes who spend their time trying to get into a girl's knickers and then move onto the next one when they get what they want."

"What!" he sputtered. "I did nothing of the sort! You're the one who tricked me into bed for your own nefarious purposes!"

She gave him a withering glare. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me right; you were upset that I was the only one in the entire bloody school that didn't think you were some sort of angel, and of course Perfect Little Evans couldn't have that, so you bewitched me and got me to shag you just so I would like you. Well, let me tell you something, Evans; it didn't work!"

"Potter, what the hell are you on are about?" she snapped. "I liked you and I thought you liked me back." Her eyes widened, and she immediately threw a hand across her mouth while her cheeks began to stain red.

James blinked owlishly behind his glasses. "Wait," he said, grabbing her arm as she tried to run away. "You liked me?"

Despite the obvious embarrassment she must have been feeling, Lily still found it in her to roll her eyes. "Well it was obvious, wasn't it? I tried being nice to you and I tried to get your attention, but it didn't work. In fact, I think it made you further dislike me, though I don't know why-"

"I thought you were doing it on purpose to get everyone to focus on you instead of me," he confessed.

Lily stared at him. "Let me get this straight," she said slowly. "You refused to like me because you thought I was trying to steal all the attention you were getting."

He shrugged sheepishly. "Well, when you say it like that..." he trailed off before wincing as her fist came in contact with his shoulder. "Ow."

"You're a prat," she announced.

"But you like me," he countered, grinning.

She ducked her head, trying to hide her growing smile. "No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"I don't actually," she said, though she was smiling in earnest now. "I don't date prats who feel threatened that I'm trying to take away all their- oomph!"

The rest of Lily's (inconsequential, as James would have it) sentence was cut off as James pressed his mouth to hers, rendering it busy for a moment or ten as they held a repeat of their practical class from last Saturday, though this time much more in depth and precise.

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><p><strong><em>Leave your thoughts in a review!<em>**

**_~Nai xoxo_**


	2. Seven's the Charm

**_So I'm going to try and update every Friday. Try. We all know that when it comes to updates I'm not very good at it. This story was done for a muggle au prompt and is slightly based off of my own experiences (you know, when I actually venture into the outside world)_**

**_Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favourited and alerted! You're awesome!_**

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><p><strong><span>Seven's the Charm<span>**

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><p>When James agreed to help out at his aunt's bookstore over the summer, he expected it to be dreadfully boring. It was only after the first few days there did he realise just how boring it actually could be. He only agreed because his ailing aunt had asked him to. Sure, he had Remus over to help out (the bloody sod practically knew the title of each book, its author and probably even its original published date) but this was something that Remus would actually enjoy, because he loved books.<p>

James on the other hand, not so much.

He would prefer to be outside, getting burnt in the sun as he and Sirius invested themselves in some form of shenanigans or the other.

Unfortunately for him, today Remus had ditched him in favour of doing something of the sort with his mother (James couldn't remember the specifics of the conversation they had in the phone last night other than the fact of Remus not being there with him.) and so far, it was shaping up to be a truly awful day.

First, when he went to get his usual morning coffee, he had a terrible mishap involving himself, a little redhead and hot tea down his front. The small shop was packed enough as it was, forcing James to squish himself into the queue waiting to collect their drinks. He was standing to close to the girl and when she turned, she bumped into him, the hot beverage inevitably sloshing over the brim.

"Oh my gosh," she gasped, taking half a step back. "I'm so sorry; I didn't see you there."

James muttered an oath under his breath, pulling the wet fabric away from his chest. There was now a lovely brown stain on the white t shirt Brilliant. "S'alright," he said, grabbing a fistful of napkins and trying to soak up the mess. "I was standing a bit too close."

The liquid was burning hot and James, who was more preoccupied with trying to not get himself scalded, missed the grin she threw his way. "Place is packed; can't blame you for that." The girl bit her lip and tried to get a better look at his ruined shirt. "I'm sorry about your shirt. No one deserves to have an AC/ DC shirt messed up."

That caught his attention. "You know who-" but by the time James looked up, the girl had already disappeared into the crowd with a swish of dark red hair.

As a consequence of the incident in the coffee shop, he had to stop back home for a clean shirt, causing James to be late for work. Aunt Ellie gave him quite an earful when he walked in twenty minutes late. The worst part of his day so far was the mere fact that they were having spectacularly good weather for once and he was cooped up inside a stuffy old bookshop doing nothing. And it _was_ nothing; there were probably a grand total of four customers for the day so far, an all time low.

James was very tempted to lock up shop early, but he didn't want to risk Aunt Ellie giving him another lecture. She may be old and sick, but she could still give a damn good stern talking to, especially if it concerned her store. This bookshop was her pride and joy.

It was just after lunch and James was scrolling down his phone absentmindedly. There was nothing to do and he was counting down the minutes until four when he could wrap up and leave. He was so spaced out that he didn't hear when the door to the shop opened with a little tinkling sound.

"Excuse me?" a hesitant voice asked. "I'm looking for-"

James' head snapped up, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose as he did. He knew that voice. It was the same voice that rushed through hurried apologies this morning at the coffee shop.

The redhead blinked. "Oh, hello," she said easily after a moment of silence. She glanced down at his chest for a moment before her eyes flickered back up to his face. "I see you've changed your shirt."

A hand jumped into his hair. "Er, yeah," he said slowly. James cleared his throat. "How can I help you?"

It took the girl a few seconds to process what he was saying before she dug her hands through the pocket of her shorts. She pulled out a scrap of paper and handed it to him. "It's for a friend," she said. "Her birthday is coming up and I thought I would get a collection of Tennyson's work for her; she loves that stuff."

He scanned the paper quickly before looking back up to the girl and saying, "I think we have some left in the back," he told her, leading the way to the back wall of the shop which was panelled with classics. He began searching the titles.

"I never caught your name," he said offhandedly as he craned his neck to get a better view of the higher shelves.

"Lily," she replied, leaning against another shelf as she watched him search through numerous leather bound copies of books for the one that she requested. "And yours?"

"James."

She watched as he grabbed the footstool before asking, "I don't mean to be nosy, but how come you're working here? You don't really seem... like the type." She put the last part as delicately as possible, obviously intending not to offend him.

James shrugged. "I'm not; my aunt wanted some help so my mum volunteered me."

Lily hummed noncommittally and he stepped down from the stool empty handed. "Looks like we don't have it out here. I'll check the backroom, but that might be a while. You could come back tomorrow," he suggested.

She nodded. "All right then. See you tomorrow, James."

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><p>After some digging around for at least half hour (he should really take an inventory) he finally found the book that Lily wanted. She came back the same time as she did yesterday and took the book with a smile.<p>

"I'm sorry if I made you miss your friend's birthday," he said sincerely.

She brushed off his apology with the wave of a hand and placed a cup of coffee down on the counter along with several packets of creamer and sugar. "For you," she clarified at his quizzical look. "After I spilt mine all over you yesterday."

He rolled his eyes, though a smile tugged "Get over it already; it was an accident."

"I probably messed up one of your favourite shirts." She did, but James wasn't about to tell her that. "Now drink your coffee and tell me how much I need to pay for the book."

He rang it up on the register and within minutes she left the store with a bag clutched in her hand and the lingering smell of floral perfume that imprinted itself into James' mind.

Lily showed up the next day with another book title written on a scrap of paper. James took it with a quirk of an eyebrow and a cheeky, "Weren't you here yesterday? And the day before that? Missed me, eh?"

She scoffed at him and called him a prat, though a grin shined throughout their bantering. She left the store again with a bag clutched in her hand and James tracing his fingers over the loops of her messy scrawl.

Again, she showed up for the fourth consecutive day at the bookstore, but unfortunately for the both of them, it was a Saturday and the store was exceptionally busy. Remus tended to her while James patiently tried to explain to an old lady that they no longer carried the 1992 version of the book she wanted as it was revised several times after. She left in a fit, calling James a speccy git and causing Lily to laugh at his face.

She left the store with nothing that day.

This became a routine somehow. She would show up to the bookstore not a minute after a quarter past one and chat with James, sometimes leaving with a bag, but more likely than not. Sometimes she would bring him coffee, and sometimes he would buy one for her. Remus noticed their interactions and said nothing, though James saw him walking around the place with a stupid little knowing smile that made him go mad.

At the end of the first week of their newfound routine, Lily slipped James a piece of paper with her number written on it in her customary messy scrawl.

At the end of the second week of their newfound routine, James had found out that he name was Lily Evans, she was his age (though two months older) she had a sister and so many other things.

At the end of the third week of their newfound routine, Lily practically knew James inside out. She knew about his family and friends, his favourite food and why he absolutely hates ducks (though she won't stop taking the mickey)

At the end of the first month of their newfound routine, she leaves with a piece of James' heart.

At the end of the fifth week of their newfound routine, James can't take it anymore.

Their playful bantering ends up taking on flirty undertones by the second week and before the sixth week is up, he pushes her up against the cookbook section and snogs her thoroughly like he'd been meaning to ever since she slipped her cell number in his pocket during the first week. Books get knocked off the displays but they can't help to care because her hands are tangled in his hair, tugging gently while his are settled dangerously low on her hips, settling over the barest sliver of skin shown between her top and jeans.

It was only later when James was repacking the shelves did Remus admit to hearing them. He chucks a textbook at his sandy haired friend who dodged it and laughed.

At the end of the seventh week of their newfound routine, James and Lily are dating.

(And having snogging trysts in the bookstore but that's another matter.)

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><p><strong>Don't forget, if there's an AU prompt you'd like to see me write, you can tell me below in a review.<strong>

**:)**


	3. Potter is the New Black

**_Modern Day AU here folks. And before anyone gets on my case, in this AU, phones work at Hogwarts and they've also adopted the internet because it is one of my personal headcanons that the Wizarding World takes some of the more helpful things from muggle culture (like how they did with radios)_**

**_Written for Renata who wanted this prompt (sorta) :)_**

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><p><strong><span>Potter is the New Black<span>**

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><p>"Oi Potter!" shouted Lily Evans. James looked up just as she pushed herself through the throngs of people inhabiting the common room coming to a stop in front of him. She thrust her phone out in front of his face.<p>

"I'm rather upset that I didn't get an invite to the wedding," she said, laughing.

James frowned. "What the hell are you on about, Evans?" he asked as he took the phone in hand. He squinted down at the screen only to almost drop it in shock.

"What the-"

_**James Potter is married to Sirius Black**_

He looks back up at Lily who was desperately trying (and failing) at hiding her growing smirk.

"I hope you've got pictures," she teased. "Especially of Black pulling off your garter." Another round of laughter sounded and this time included some of the people who were standing around them, all of which had their phones out.

He all but through her phone back at her before frantically rooting around his pockets for his own cell and logging on to the website. Sure enough it was shown right there on his profile that his relationship status had changed from an 'it's complicated' with Evans ('we're not in a relationship, Potter!' she had yelled at him countless times to which he would reply with a confident, 'yet.') to 'married.' With Sirius of all people.

"Sirius!" yelled James once he saw him descending the steps that led to the boys dormitories. He immediately looked up before coming over to James' side.

"What?"

"When was the last time you checked your profile?"

"I dunno," he shrugged, slowly patting his pockets for his phone. "Probably yesterday. Why?"

James shook his head. "Just look at it."

He did, only to look up a minute after with a wry smirk on his face. "Did we really get pissed drunk last Friday that we decided to get married? Oi Peter! Did you officiate the ceremony?"

Peter shook his head, unable to answer due to the fact that he and Remus were without breath from laughing too much.

James looked back at Sirius. "I'm going to divorce you."

"Aw, don't do that," pouted Lily, though her eyes still glittered with mirth. "The two of you would make such gorgeous babies."

"Shut up Evans," James advised. "I'm going to change this right now." He began fiddling around with his phone until he swore loudly.

"The bloody thing won't let me in," he grunted as he forcefully tapped the screen of his phone.

"Looks like we were meant to be together, Prongs," Sirius sighed happily, leaning against his shoulders and fluttering his eyelashes ridiculously. Lily gave a rather unladylike snort at their antics. "Sorry Evans; hope you're not too cut up about it," he called, sounding very unapologetic over the matter.

"Oh, I'm absolutely devastated," she said flatly.

"Remus!" yelled James, who was still trying to edit his account. "Remus help! It's locked me out!"

"Can't do that, I'm afraid," Remus said much too cheerfully.

By now the entire common room had their phones out and were talking about relationship statuses while James stared listlessly at the phone screen which refused to go anywhere else other than his profile.

"Oh look at that," said Lily, who was now leaning over James' shoulder. Her ginger red hair brushed against his neck, tickling him slightly. "Mummy Potter liked your new status. And commented too! 'So glad you and Sirius have come to terms with things. Although I would stick with 'in a relationship,' for now if I were you, James.' How cute!"

Lily laughed again and Sirius joined in. Soon enough everyone in the room was laughing at his misfortune, obviously thinking that the message from his mother was also 'cute.'

James on the other hand did not think it was cute. In fact, James thought that he might keel over from the amount of embarrassment he was feeling at that moment.

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><p>Later that night after James had finally gotten Remus to fix everything (he ended up bribing him with a bar of Honeydukes' best) he lay in bed, right at the brink of sleep.<p>

And then his phone beeped.

With a muttered expletive, he patted around the night stand blindly until his fingers grasped around the cool metal.

_one text received from Lily Evans:_

I tagged you in a photo. Check it out.

At the end of her sentence there was a winky face, which instantly got James' mind working.

He quickly logged into his account and checked to see what photo she was talking about.

After he did, he was not amused.

It was a photo of his and Sirius' heads poorly photoshopped onto a picture of a bride and groom with the caption, 'James Potter; the new Black.'

It already had over twenty likes.

James turned off his phone and threw it back on the night stand before burying his head in his pillow and cursing Lily Evans to high heavens.

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><p><strong><em>Have a good weekend! :)<em>**


	4. Blackeyes

_**Tumblr prompt: AU where James is Hawkeye and Lily is Black Widow. I already love Hawkeye/ Black Widow so I figured why the hell not, right?**_

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><p><strong><span>Blackeyes<span>**

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><p>The now unconscious body of a man fell from the second storey of the building and hit the ground with a dull thump.<p>

James grinned at the redhead who knelt in front him picking the lock of the gate. "One down, six more to go," he informed her, notching another arrow. "At least, if what your informant told us was true."

Lily shot him a steely glare. "Quiet," she hissed at him. He complied almost immediately, but not without sending a wink towards her, and she went back to work on the padlock in front her. It would be easy for her to just take her gun out and put a bullet through the key hole, but then they would have to face the remaining guards all at the same time and she really wasn't in the mood for that. She just wanted a quick in and out, preferably with as little damages as possible. So instead of reaching for her gun like her hand itched to, she pushed her arm further through the hole and continued to fiddle around with the lock pick. She sensed James shuffle closer towards her as he kept a look out for any potential threats.

Finally there was an audible click and the chain binding both halves of the gate slid to the ground in a loud clatter.

She grinned at him before pulling open the gate and gesturing to him to walk on. "After you."

He rolled his eyes and prodded her forward. "Come on. Let's go see if the fifteen year old boy you made wet himself was right about this."

That just caused Lily's grin to widen. "They never lie to me," she quipped, waltzing into the abandoned warehouse with ease. She didn't seem to mind that there were six potential threats that would be more than happy to rip her apart.

Curious, James asked, "Why?" as he followed after her, bow hanging loosely at his side. Lily turned around and looked up at him through her eyelashes, biting her lip and leaning forward _just so_. His eyes flickered down for just the briefest of seconds before snapping back up to her face. She was no longer biting her lip but smirking up at him. He shoved her lightly. "Alright, I get it. No wonder they wet themselves."

"Well," she teased, stretching her arms up, "I have been told that I am a force to be reckoned with." Her green eyes glinted in the dark and her little pink mouth pulled up in a small smile. If James hadn't known her for almost eight years he wouldn't have even noticed it.

"Force to be reckoned with? You're a threat, Evans, and a dangerous one at that too."

Lily hummed lightly. "I'm taking that as a compliment," she quipped in return. "And if I'm a threat, then you're oblivious to your surroundings, Potter."

His teasing smile dropped in favour of a confused frown. "What-"

"On your left." That was all she said before bolting past him and pouncing on a man trying to sneak up on them through the shadows. James had a brief moment of awe as he stared at her punching the man in the face before hooking her legs around him and bringing him to the floor. The moment was cut too short for his liking as he noticed another man trying to grab Lily from behind.

He readied his bow and aimed at his newly acquired target. The arrow hit him squarely between both shoulder blades. The man staggered backwards. Lily, realising the appearance of a new threat, kicked the injured man's chest while simultaneously head butting the other one which had her in a head lock.

The man that James had hit fell to the ground with thump while the other one took a disoriented step backwards. Lily managed to slip out of his grip and James tensed, holding the bow and arrow, waiting for a clear shot. It was impossible to find one. Both of them were moving too quickly and he was afraid that he'd accidentally shoot Lily in the leg or something.

Lily clearly had the upper hand in this battle so far, but the man had clearly gotten a good few hits in. There was a nasty gash by her eyebrow and James noticed that her knuckles were bloodied and bruised. While she was finishing him up James took the opportunity to scan the warehouse. It was dark- pitch black with no more than a few slivers of light here and there making it incredibly hard to see. Still though, he managed to get an alright grasp on the layout of the building; three floors, all with the windows boarded up, each floor was about thirty to forty feet in width and he had no idea how long.

Dumbledore mentioned that the lab would be cleverly concealed and heavily guarded. Lily's source- she had eyes and ears everywhere- turned out to be a newspaper boy who, when not throwing damp copies of the Daily Prophet at doorsteps, did quite a few odds and ends. The last job he had was to clear out a room in the back here. He noticed the same seven men coming and going every day.

There was a crack of finality and another muffled thump followed by the harsh Irish swearing that he had come to grow fond off.

"Took you long enough," he teased. Lily grunted and pushed her dark red curls out of her face while muttering a few more oaths in the Irish language. Immediately his gaze was drawn to the gash at the end of her fiery brow. "Let me see it," he said as he crossed the floor in a matter of seconds to cup her jaw, tilting her head up slightly.

Lily batted his arms away. "We can play doctor later," she said, smearing some of the blood into her hair by accident. "Right now, we have a job to do. What's the score?"

"Two, one," James answered promptly. He knew better than to prod her into accepting his help. It did not work out the last time he tried. He still had the bite marks to prove it. He smirked at her, and lazily pulled an arrow from the quiver he had strapped to his back. "I'm winning. Off your game tonight, eh Evans?"

Lily growled and continued to swear in her native language, his name mixed in with a myriad of other unpleasant sounding words. "We'll see about that," she said, drawing herself up to her full height. "Split up and meet me on the top floor once you've gotten your share."

She didn't wait for his response, instead turning on her heel and stalking off into the darkness. James chuckled and sent the arrow flying through the air. There was a soft clang as its hook caught on to something and, with the press of a button, he was scaling the wall up to the second floor.

It didn't take long for him to find another Death Eater and take him out. He left the body slumped over with his arms and legs bound and mouth gagged even though he doubted that he was going to wake up anytime soon. He quickly continued his inspection of the second floor- he found another body slumped over with his arm bent at an awkward angle; obviously the work of his fiery counterpart- before moving on to the third.

There was a door wide open and he could hear the sounds of a struggle. He picked another arrow from his set- this time one that causes electrocution- and entered the room, bow at the ready. A crack sounded and when James looked up he had barely enough time to roll out of the way of the falling body. His sigh of relief was cut short as another body came tumbling through the air, this time a pair of legs catching him around his neck and sending him crashing to the ground.

"Bloody hell," he gasped.

"Oh," said Lily, sounding slightly disappointed. She leant back so that she was sitting on his shoulders. "It's just you." The crushing pressure on his trachea subsided and James greedily gulped at oxygen.

"You know, love," he started, one hand coming up to massage his throat and the other catching her hip, "If you wanted my head between your legs, you could have just asked."

Lily glared down at him and once again her thighs clenched around his neck in a warning. James removed his hands off her person and held them above his head in surrender. She easily got off him and stood up with a grace that he could never assume and walked over to one of the many computers in the cramped lab. He watched as her fingers danced across the keyboard and a small dip formed between her eyebrows as she attempted to crack the code. He could never do that. She just had a way with computers. If it was up to him, he probably would have shot an arrow at it already and fried the circuits.

"Got it," she said victoriously, plugging in the memory stick. Both of them watched as the little green bar slowly filled before finally disappearing. She yanked out the USB from the drive and pushed it- well where exactly didn't matter; it was more than safe and if she caught him looking _there_ again she might put a bullet through his arm.

The two of them walked out together. Not exactly taking their time, but not exactly running like their lives depended on it. "So I guess you win this round, huh," said Lily.

James slowed his pace down so that he was now lagging behind her. "What are you talking about? I only got three."

Lily stopped walking all together. "So did I."

There was a loud crack and Lily pinned James to the grimy floors just as the bullet whizzed through the air where they were standing a moment ago. Several more cracks followed suit and she made an effort to press herself flat against him while his hand came up to protect her head.

"Bottom floor, most likely from in between our six and seven," said Lily, snarling as another bullet flew past. She had her face pressed against his neck and James further pushed her head down as bullets sailed past. "Lone gunman with a semi automatic. I can't see to tell you how far but I'm pretty sure he's shooting us at a thirty degree angle. Maybe twenty feet?"

"Fucking hell," James hissed into her ear as another bullet whistled dangerously close to his arm, "This is like Diagon Alley all over again."

"You and I remember Diagon Alley very differently," she whispered, patting around for her gun. "I especially remember you pulling me behind a store. Speaking of which, you still owe me a bra."

"If we get out of this alive, I'll carry you shopping," grunted James. He slowly slid his hand towards his bow and procured another arrow.

"Brilliant. Have you figured out a plan yet?"

"Yep."

"Chance of injury?"

"About half and half."

"That's better than I'm accustomed too. Get on with it."

He notched the arrow. "Hold on tight."

Lily rolled her eyes in the darkness. "Oh yes; it's not as though we haven't done this nearly a million times before."

"Don't be mean."

"Right, sorry. Love you."

"I know." She elbowed him in the gut. "I mean I love you too."

With those sentiments uttered, James fired the arrow and Lily whipped out her gun. She gripped onto his shirt tightly while her legs clenched around his waist. They both jumped off the ledge. James had one arm wrapped around her and holding onto the bow while Lily fired off her gun until the barrel was empty. They landed on the floor in a pile of tangled limbs and muffled swears. Gunfire still cracked through the air and Lily switched the empty round for a new one. She clicked it in place before turning to him and asking, "Think you can see where he is?"

James slowly poked his head around the large crates that protected them for the time being. If he squinted hard enough, he was just able to see the silhouette of a gun barrel peeking out from behind another set of crates. For the first time he wondered what was kept in them.

"One o' clock. Hey Lils," he caught the gun just as she cocked it. She shot him an aggravated look. "What's the name of this place again?"

"Firecracker Finishings," she replied promptly, not missing a beat. Almost a second later her eyes widened and her mouth formed a small 'o' of surprise. She swore violently in her native language.

James echoed her response. "Well fucking fuck. This complicates things."

"I'm surprised nothing has blown up yet with all of this gunfire," said Lily, looking at her gun. "We're completely fucked here, aren't we?"

She looked over at James and her brows dipped in confusion as she took in the calculating look on his face. "I have a plan," he said slowly. He pulled an arrow from his back and Lily recognised it at once to be one that explodes on impact.

"James Potter-" she began angrily.

"Go," he said, not looking her in the eye. "Get the drive to Dumbledore. Think of this as an elimination of a major terrorist cell."

"And it's also an elimination of yourself too, James," she countered irately. Lily's temper increased a tenfold as he just shrugged, completely blasé. "James, you can't be serious. You could die-"

"That's our job, Lily," he told her, pushing his hand through his hair. "When we signed up to the Order- especially for this job- we signed our lives away. From the moment we joined, we knew it was a very real possibility that we were going to die out on the field. And I'm not completely stupid; I set a timer on this thing."

"Those timers only last two minutes at most," she snapped. James glanced over at her and wished he hadn't. He felt his resolve weaken as he noted the unnatural brightness in her eyes that could only come from unshed tears.

"Hey," he said softly, cupping her jaw. He dropped a brief kiss on her lips. "I'll be fine."

"I'm not going," she said stubbornly.

"Lils, someone needs to get that information to Dumbledore," he said calmly.

"To hell with that," she snarled. "'Until death do us part,' remember? And if you're choosing to stupidly throw your life away here then I'm going die right along with you."

James squeezed her hand gently. "We're not even married yet."

"We will be in a few months," she countered. "I've already made a down payment on my dress and I swear to god, Potter, if you leave me alone at that altar I will kill you."

James sighed and turned back around. He couldn't take looking at her any longer. Gunshots still rang through the air, hitting the other side of the crate. Soon enough it'll start to eat it away, leaving them vulnerable to bullets.

"It's time for you to go Lil," he said, focusing the arrow once more.

"I'm not-"

"Get out of here, Lily."

Lily bit on her lip, refusing to cry. She was a spy for god's sake. She could tamp down on her emotions in a matter of seconds but for some reason it wasn't working this time around. She grabbed his collar and pulled him back, crushing his mouth with hers. The kiss was hard and James could feel her pouring out everything she was feeling into it. He allowed his hand to briefly tangle in her hair and kissed her back for just a moment before pulling away. He lightly pressed his lips to the ring he placed on her hand almost a year ago back in Diagon Alley. A smile tugged at his lips as he remembered that day. It was after he had 'pulled her behind the shop' as Lily would tell everybody when the small velvet box clattered out of his jeans pocket. He had been carrying it around for months before, searching for an appropriate time and since she already saw it he threw caution to the wind and knelt down. Not a moment after she had said yes were they ambushed by Death Eaters.

He smiled at her once more before releasing her hand. With one last look at him, Lily ran off, not once looking over her shoulder. James picked up his bow again once she was out of sight. If he had a clear shot from anywhere further away he would take it, but as luck would have it, the only one available was near thirty feet away. Far enough to escape on firecracker induced explosion but he intended on having it snowball so that the entire building went up in smoke.

The string was pulled taut. He released it, watching it whizz through the air and hit its target.

And then he ran like hell.

Two minutes would be enough time if he could see where he was going and not having to dodge bullets. Plus he was almost at the other end of the lengthy warehouse. James was fast, but he wasn't that fast.

The first explosion rang out. The exit was still twenty feet away.

Lily watched as smoke billowed through the windows of the building as it came crashing down on itself. A small sob escaped her throat as she saw that no one was running out through the gate she had earlier picked to open. She watched until the entire building was levelled, loud explosions echoing throughout the otherwise quiet night.

"Moody's going to have our arses for that isn't he?" a voice said from behind her.

Lily jumped, whirling around with her gun at the ready only to find the soot smeared, bloodied yet grinning face of James. Her gun fell to the ground as she all but flung her arms around him.

"You're all right," she murmured against the stiff fabric of his shirt.

"Windows are sometimes glorious things. Especially when you can't make it to the designated exit," he replied just as softly. His arms snaked around her, holding her against him as he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. They stood like that until the blue flashing lights of police cars became visible.

"We should go," Lily said, finally pulling away.

"Mmm," hummed James. He reached down to interlock their fingers together. "I told you I wasn't going to leave you at the altar." He brushed his over the ring which had dried blood stuck in between the etchings. "We're going to have to get this cleaned. Again."

"We should just leave that until the week before the wedding or something," said Lily as they walked hand in hand. "It's bound to get bloodied up again at least five times within the next two months."

"You should avoid that."

Lily scoffed. "I'm not taking it off, if that's what you mean. You're not getting out of this engagement easily, Potter."

"I never said that," he countered smoothly. "I just meant you should probably stop breaking people's noses for the hell of it, soon- to- be- Mrs- Potter."

She shoved his shoulder with hers. "Don't call me that."

He shoved her right back. "I'll call you whatever I want," he replied before kissing her temple and grinning. "Now come on; let's get our earful from Moody and head home. I intend on holding you to that promise of playing doctor."

"You're such a wanker, Potter."

"And yet you love me, Evans."

"Touché."

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><p><em><strong>In case it wasn't clear: they're engaged and the Order is meant to be SHIELD. Also, I hoped you liked all the little marvel lines I threw in. :)<strong>_


	5. If We Ever Meet Again

_**I currently have more than 20 AU prompts on tumblr. Oh dear. This one is meeting up at a high school reunion.**_

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><p><strong><span>If We Ever Meet Again<span>**

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><p>Lily needed a fucking drink.<p>

It seems as though her classmates- _former_ classmates she kept on telling herself and was thankful for the fact- had gotten twice as bitchy and half as modest. If she had to hear one more word from that stupid cow Greta Catchlove on how yet another of her cooking books made the top ten list in the Daily Prophet's lifestyle section, she was going to shove a stiletto heel so far up her arse it might actually take up some of the space in which her brain should have been.

She swished the Firewhiskey around her glass before tossing it back.

Lily needed a fucking drink that wasn't fucking Firewhiskey because she's been drinking harder stuff than that by the time she was sixteen for god's sake.

It seemed as though everyone had some fantastical story to tell- the aurors with their dashing tales of adventure, the healers on how they saved someone who was an inch from death, the authors, the housewives, even the fucking bartenders had stories to tell.

And she couldn't say a word about her job.

Lily drank the rest of her Firewhiskey and contemplated if getting a third one in the space of an hour was too much before deciding to fuck that because the drinks were free and the only way she could properly handle these blithering idiots was if she was properly drunk.

Working as an Investigative Reporter for the _Daily Prophet_ had its perks, and many of those, but the downside to it was that she couldn't tell a single soul. She wrote under a pseudonym for the _Prophet_, and no one ever really pried much when she said that she was a reporter. Except that today that's what everyone seemed to want to do; pry.

She managed to whip together some half baked story to feed them (she was Amira Shafiq's, head writer in the news department, personal editor she said. It wasn't all a lie; she did know Amira- the two of them were good friends in fact- and she did edit her stories for her but that was just fixing the stray comma here and there) and it pacified them but it left her without any good stories to tell. She may have had many different faces in her pocket (a perk of being an Investigative Reporter) but if she were to use any here, she knew that it might backfire. It seemed as though everyone who she went to school with had a job in the same department as each one of her many characters.

Lily slowly meandered her way through the crowd, pasting a smile onto her face and muttering niceties while continuously reminding herself that it would be considered inconsiderate (not to mention illegal) to shoot a quick _Avada_ at some of them.

Thankfully the queue at the bar wasn't overly long and she managed to snag a seat near the end, drumming her fingers impatiently as the lone bartender whipped up a series of fruity cocktails for the gaggle of women at the other end.

When he finally came over to her she asked, "What's the strongest thing you've got?"

"Firewhiskey," he replied promptly, pulling up a glass for her.

Lily resisted the urge to groan. As soon as she got home she was going to down an entire bottle of scotch and tumble into bed, stupid shoes and all where she'll sleep until Monday. With a resigned sigh she gave him a small nod. "Fine. But make it a double."

"Would like a chaser?"

She couldn't help the snort that escaped her. "God no." Amira probably would have slapped her for her impudence if she was there, but it so happened that Amira was not there so Lily honestly could not find a single fuck to give at that moment for her behaviour.

He poured out the drink and slid it across the counter to her. She took it, muttering her thanks before taking a huge gulp and standing up to leave. Unfortunately, some moron had decided to stand right behind her and she walked smack dab into his chest. His hand shot out to grasp her shoulder and keep her from falling, but she still ended up sloshing half her drink onto the strangers dress robes.

"Bloody buggering shit," she hissed, colouring slightly. She flicked her wand at the growing damp patch. "I'm sorry, I didn't know-"

"Lily Evans."

Her eyes snapped up to the man who still hadn't released her as yet and widened slightly. "James Potter."

Oh.

Oh dear. This cannot end well.

Lily remembers him with vivid clarity. They were Head Boy and Head Girl together seven years ago at Hogwarts. It was the first time their circles ever interacted in all their years together, which was really strange if you think about it, considering that they lived together and had all of the same classes. Lily preferred to stay under the radar with Mary Macdonald (who wasn't here because she just gave birth two days ago. Lily made a mental note to send her some flowers or something) and Jillian O'Connor (who also wasn't here because she was off gallivanting in Romania with fucking dragons until December) while James, well, he couldn't really see the radar anymore from how high up he and his friends were.

But what Lily remembers the most from her Hogwarts days with James was her stupid little crush she harboured for about six months. It wasn't totally unfounded; lots of girls liked him- handsome, popular, smart and talented; it wasn't fair really. The crush died out eventually and after they parted ways in the summer of '78, she never thought of him again for the most part.

Except now she was thinking about him. Oh yeah, definitely thinking about him with that messy hair that she was sure she could make messier and stupid mouth that could be put to a better use than that stomach swooping grin and-

Someone needs to douse her in cold water for god's sake.

(She mentioned that this cannot end well, right?)

He seemed to have grown again, probably just past the six foot mark at this point and she tried to hide the way her eyes swept over his upper arms where the fabric of his dress robe clung slightly to. She could tell that he was doing the same thing- the inconspicuous look up and down- and silently thanked Amira for persuading her to buy the little blue dress that did quite a number on her legs and another part of her anatomy.

"How you've been?" he asked, ruffling his already messy hair.

She shrugged. "I've been around," she said airily.

James cocked an eyebrow. "I haven't seen you around."

They were walking now. She can't remember how that happened but it did. People were staring at them. "Well our arounds are different, yeah? Mine's here firmly on the ground while yours is on a broomstick way up in the air. How's that been going for you?"

If he noticed her subject change, he went right along with it. Then again, Lily doubted that he did; she became very deft at changing the topic with her line of work. "Brilliant really. The English team wants me to play as their reserve chaser. Still haven't decided if I want to as yet."

Her eyebrows rose slightly. "Really? I thought you'd be jumping at the chance to join the national team. You've been with Puddlemere for seven years right?"

"Yeah, I joined right out of Hogwarts," he said. They had reached the end of the room. Eyes still flickered over to them- him really- but not nearly as much as before. He pulled the door open for her and they both stepped out on to a balcony. "Don't get me wrong, I'd love to join the English team, it's just that there's a lot of travelling involved. I don't think I can leave everyone behind like that."

"But you'll come back eventually," she pressed. "It's not like you're going for years at a time."

"You'd really leave everyone behind just like that?"

Lily shrugged. "There's not much to leave behind really." She shot him a secretive grin.

"Hmm," he hummed noncommittally before taking out a silver flask from inside his robes. He grinned at her questioning look. "Sirius and I have long learnt that if you're to handle these things without going barmy you need some good, strong, hard liquor to see you through."

Her jaw dropped of her own accord. "I can't believe I didn't think of that!"

"I just pull out a liquor flask from my pocket and your first response is that you're upset you didn't think of doing that first?" He shook his head, a small smile growing. "You really are something else Lily Evans."

"Shut up."

"Make me," he said, with a slight edge to his voice that she couldn't quite place. Daring perhaps, but it didn't fit exactly.

"I'll throw your precious flask over this balcony," she threatened, taking a half a step closer to him.

He looked scandalised at her suggestion. "You wouldn't dare," he said, eyes narrowed. He turned his body to face hers and boldly took a step forward.

Lily smirked slightly. "Try me."

James quirked his lips slightly. "And if I were to... share, would you still harbour these same sentiments?"

The smirk was full blown now, and she crossed her arms across her chest, again thanking Amira when she saw his eyes flicker down for a slight moment. She ran her finger around the rim of her glass slowly. "If you do that... well, I'm sure we can work something out."

It was his turn to smirk now. James never broke eye contact once as he stretched his arm to pour some of the liquid into her glass. On its way back, his hand grazed the exposed skin of her arm. A flash of... something she rather not think about (too late, she was already thinking about it and fucking hell she has never been happier that occlumency is a skill that not everyone possessed) shot through her, making her toes curl. She chanced a glance up at his face and noted that he was still staring at her and his eyes had darkened considerably.

He broke the silence first (which was a good thing because Lily was fairly certain that her thoughts would turn into words if she spoke to him first.) "Do you want to go back inside?"

She shook her head. "I don't think I'm properly drunk enough for that as yet," she confessed before taking a small sip of whatever it is he gave her. It was strong. She hid a smile.

James' laughter echoed throughout the cool summer night. "I have to agree with you on that one," he said, holding up his flask. "Cheers." They knocked their glass and flask together before taking another sip. She revelled in the way it burnt down her throat.

Somehow they started talking. She learnt that he lived with three other boys- the same three that encompassed the Marauders from back at school and he learnt that she lived on her own in a dingy little flat in London. He told her about his friends and the places that he would like to visit (visit, he made sure to specify, and not for training or for a match; just a holiday) and for some reason Lily found herself telling him about her dream of becoming a mystery write in the muggle world. He listened very patiently to the storyline she had plotted out over the years becoming engrossed in it as Lily went on and on. The space between them diminished as well. First their shoulders brushed ever so slightly and then their arms were pressed against each other. His arm casually wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her to his side, and now her stood behind her, his chest pressed against her back, hands braced on either side of her hips and head tucked away into the crook of her neck as he told her the story of the one time he went camping and wandered straight into a herd of unicorns.

It was safe to say that they were both very, very drunk.

That little flask he had seemed to hold more than it looked. Lily was willing to bet her wand that it was because of magic.

"Bloody hell," he muttered into her ear, "It's almost twelve."

Lily hummed slightly, not feeling tired the slightest. The same flash she felt the first time he touched her was an undercurrent now, swimming beneath the surface of her skin and lighting every nerve on fire. She leant back against his chest and James wrapped arms around her middle, skimming his nose up the gently curve of her neck and into her hair. "Do you think anyone will notice if we leave?" she asked

"They haven't noticed us missing for the past four hours," he countered lowly, pressing feather light kisses into her hair. "I reckon we could do anything we wanted out here and they wouldn't notice."

He didn't seem to know what type of images his words conjured in her mind. Anything they wanted, hmm? She could think of a few things to put that theory to the test.

Lily feigned a yawn. "Well I'm ready to go home," she announced. She stretched a bit in a way that certainly did not have her body rubbing against his at all, what a preposterous thought.

"I'll walk you to your door," he said. He had moved back to her neck and his lips brushed against the delicate skin there each time he talked. "It's the gentlemanly thing to do after all."

"I'm apparating," she told him, grinning.

His grip moved to that of her hips, slowly sliding across the smooth material of her dress. "Well then it's my duty to accompany you anyway to make sure that you don't splinch yourself." He thumbed the intricate beading there. "And see you inside properly. You never know what's lurking, Evans."

"James?"

"Hmm?" He began rubbing distracting circles into her hipbones through her dress.

"Just admit that you want to come home with me."

"I want to come home with me."

She snorted. "You're such a drunken idiot."

"I thought we were going?"

"_I_ was going. You were being a blubbering drunk."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Come on Evans," he pouted petulantly.

She was grinning again. "Give me one good reason why."

The mischievous sparkle in his eye told her that she was in trouble right before he started whispering several reasons into her ear. Forget thoughts. If she agreed with whatever it was he was suggesting she's have _memories_.

She apparated before he could finish giving her his third reason.

They were snogging before she could even unlock the flat.

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><p><em><strong>Stay tuned for more AU-ness<strong>_


	6. The Wrong Door

_**More AUs!**_

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><p><strong><span>The Wrong Door<span>**

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><p>"Why the bloody hell did Sirius buy the flat at the top floor of a building that doesn't have a fucking elevator?" hissed James as he, Remus and Peter turned to climb yet another flight of stairs. So far they had climbed eight flights of stairs and were currently doing their ninth. Peter's face was red and he was panting from exertion while Remus started wheezing at least three flights ago. James prided himself on his stamina but even so, a slight sheen of sweat covered his arms as they took the last few steps. Behind him, he could hear both Remus and Peter echo his sentiment with a few more colourful swears thrown into the mix.<p>

Finally they caught sight of the gold plated number ten glinting happily at them from its place on the wall. "Thank fucking god," he sighed and the three of them slumped against the wall in an attempt to catch their breaths. It was a nice place, he thought. Plants (fake, he was sure) lined the hallway in red clay pots, sitting between each of the doors. Small crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling and the walls were painted a light, sunny yellow. All nice except for the fact that the building was currently lacking an elevator.

"I'm going to murder him," gasped Remus, clutching at the stitch in his side. "I'm going to positively murder that mutt."

"Not if I get to him first," groaned Peter who was dabbing his forehead with a handkerchief.

James straightened and rolled up his sleeves. "We can all take turns killing him," he promised. "Now, Remus, where did he say his flat was again?"

"Last door on the left hallway," Remus answered promptly, "He said that they didn't finish numbering them as yet."

"I don't care," said Peter, "I'm starving. I think I lost five pounds just by climbing those stairs."

James patted him on his back. "Food first then we'll kill him?"

The other two nodded. "Food first and then we'll kill him."

They walked down the hallway pitching several mad murder ideas at the others, each one progressively getting wilder and wilder until they finally reached the end of the hallway and stopped in front of a nondescript white door with a potted plant outside it.

James strode up to the door and knocked loudly. "Zip up, Black! Put your prick away and open the damn door! We're going to kill you!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "For god's sake James, you don't yell those types of things in an apartment building."

He ignored him and continued pounding against the door. "Black!"

Peter turned to face Remus. "I don't think he cares," he said. "Are you sure this is the right door?"

"Of course it's the right door; he sent me a text saying 'Tenth floor. Last door on the left hallway. Smiley face, smiley face, winky face.'"

"Open up Sirius!"

"I'm not doubting you, I'm just making sure. You were the one who got us lost last month when we were trying to get Wales. I still don't understand how we ended up in Dover."

"That was only one time! And James was driving; it was his fault he didn't follow the road signs."

"Goddammit Sirius- oi! That was not my fault; Lupin doesn't know how to read a map."

"You could have read the map yourself."

"Oh yeah, because reading a map and driving is a perfectly safe thing to do at the same time. Right. I'll keep that in mind next time. 'Oh I'm sorry I hit down that pedestrian, officer, I was reading a map. My mate told me that it's perfectly fine to read a map and a drive at the same.'"

"You know that's not what I meant-"

"He does have a point, Remus."

"Thank you Peter."

"-don't encourage him Peter."

"I'm not encouraging him-"

"Shut up Remus"

"Oh you don't have to be such a child about- ow! Don't hit me."

"Well you don't have to shove me. Now who's being the child?"

"Can the two of you behave? Hey! Don't bring me into- let go of me, James!"

James lunged at Remus, taking Peter with him. Remus caught him around his neck and Peter managed to grab holding of one of Remus' arms, pinning it to his side. He grunted when he received a knee to the stomach James kicked at his shins.

"Can I help you?" a voice asked.

The three of them froze and looked up. The door that James was previously abusing was now open and standing in the middle of the doorway was a redhead clad only in a short pink bathrobe and her arms crossed across her chest. Her hair was wet and dripping down her back and dampening her shoulders. She hitched an eyebrow as she took in their appearances: Remus holding James in a headlock and Peter on his knees clutching at his stomach. They sprung apart and James felt his cheeks warm considerably.

He and the other two shared a look. "Er…" began Peter.

"You're… a girl," said James, confused.

The other brow jumped to join its partner. "You're a smart one, aren't you? Yes, I've discerned that, but thank you anyway for pointing that out," she said dryly.

His hand jumped to his hair, tangling itself into it. He tried his best not to stare at her but it was proving to be difficult. Her green eyes seemed to be trained on him alone. Amusement and annoyance seemed to be fighting for dominance in them. Behind him, Remus and Peter shared a look. "Do you by chance know a Sirius Black?" he asked.

"Black?" she asked, racking her brain. "No, sorry, can't say I do."

"Are you sure?" pressed Remus. "He's tall, dark hair, grey eyes."

"A bloody obnoxious personality," James put in.

"Drives a motorcycle," Peter added helpfully.

The girl shook her head at all their descriptions. "Nope. No one is coming to mind right now. Even if someone was coming to mind I probably wouldn't have told you." She directed her gaze back at James and he froze like a deer in headlights. "After all, weren't you just yelling that you're about to kill him?"

"We're his mates," Remus said kindly after a beat.

James was quick to follow while giving his hair a good muss. "His best mates."

"He might have tried to chat you up," Peter tried again, and this time it seemed to do the trick.

Her eyes widened considerably and her perfect pink mouth (not like James noticed her perfect, pink- her normal, completely normal, mouth) turned downwards in a sardonic frown. "Oh," she said coldly. "Him." The three of them shared the universal 'oh god; what did Sirius do now?' look.

"He did try to chat me up," she ground out, "And I ended up kneeing him straight in the bollocks."

There was another beat of silence before the three boys busted out laughing. James could hardly even get a hold of himself as he wiped a tear away and said between deep breaths, "Oh _god_; I like you, Red. I like you."

She shrugged. "Most people do," she told them. "Last door down the other hallway. Tell him that if he tries to chat me up again I'll cut his balls off and feed them to my cat."

Their laughter ceased immediately. Remus coughed. "You don't- that's only something you're saying to scare him, right?"

A mischievous grin broke out across her face. "My cat has always been fond of mammalian testicles." And if that wasn't enough, a cat- an ugly, fat black and white thing- appeared at her ankles and hissed at them before she slammed the door shut.

The three boys were left staring (James was gaping slightly) at the spot she had just vacated. When they finally snapped out of it, James turned to face Remus and Peter and said, "I think I'm in love."

Both boys shared a look before simultaneously slapping the back of their moony eyed friend's head and dragging him down the hall- this time the right hand side hallway.

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><p><em><strong>Several of these AUs from this challenge will probably be posted separately (once they exceed more than 4 000 words that is.) Until next time! (Which might be like Monday or something.)<strong>_

_**xoxo Nai**_


	7. A Little Death

**_This is like a sequel to _****_If We Ever Meet Again_****_. A very, very, long sequel._**

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><p><strong><span>A Little Death<span>**

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><p>When Lily woke up the next morning James was gone. She didn't mind of course. <em>That<em> relationship wouldn't have been going anywhere in the first place and they both knew it. Still though, that didn't stop her from spending almost an entire hour simply lying in bed and revelling in memories of last night. Her muscles were sore and she had marks in the most strangest of places (teeth marks on her thighs and back, fingerprints on her hips and slight reddish-purplish bruises littered all over the rest of her body- especially her chest.) He was a good shag. Pity it was only a onetime thing.

Eventually she did get out of bed and get dressed, downing a small vial of potion to cure the slight hangover, before cleaning out her flat. That was the only productive thing she did for the entire weekend. On Monday when she went back out to work Amira was waiting for her outside her office.

"I didn't hear of any murders this weekend," she said dryly in greeting as Lily approached. "I'm assuming you had fun?"

"Well I didn't gouge out my eyeballs so I consider it successful," Lily said lightly, tapping the doorknob with her wand, opening it.

"Did the dress work?" she asked eagerly, following Lily inside (making sure the close the door behind her- gossip travelled fast after all in the office after all) and draping herself over one of the chairs. She flicked her wand and two teacups floated across the room. With another flick she added water to each of the cups and tapped them to warm it.

Lily smirked, remembering how James looked at her in it. "Oh definitely," she said, flicking through the stacks on her desk.

"Did you shag anyone?" she half teased, adding sugar to the tea.

She plucked a file from a stack that was tilting precariously. "Maybe," she said, grinning to herself like the cat that caught the canary before flipping through the file.

Amira's hands stilled and her eyes snapped up to Lily who was reading the file, a slight smirk decorating her face. "You didn't," she breathed, the tea all but forgotten.

"I did."

The older woman shrieked happily and practically lunged across the desk to grasp at Lily's robes. "About bloody time! You've had your first one night stand. Took you long enough. You're finally a woman, Lily Evans."

"You're talking as though you're some great slag," Lily teased her. "I know for a fact that you've never had a one night stand, Ms Shafiq."

"Yes well, I don't count," she replied. "Most men are turned off by this," she pointed to her hijaab. "Can't imagine why."

Lily snorted. "Well they're a bunch of tossers," she explained. "After all, who wouldn't want a piece of that?"

Amira threw her head back and laughed. "I know right. Between you and me I think it's because they're intimidated." She straightened out her hijaab. "Now back to you. Who was he?"

"James Potter."

Her eyes all but bulged out of her head. "_James Potter_," she sputtered. "As in the James Potter who plays as the chaser for Puddlemere United? The same James Potter who I would very much like to get alone because he's so damn fit and do things that would have my mother rolling in her grave?"

Lily laughed. "Keep your thirty two year old sex fantasies away from me," she told her.

Amira shrugged, unabashed. "It's not my fault the boy's yummy. If I had known he was going to grow up to be so fine when I was Head Girl I would have kept him in detention with me all the time."

"He was eleven, Mira. You're borderline paedophilia right now."

"Oh who cares. Tell me all about him, it, everything."

"He's a good shag."

"Just good?" she speculated. "Not amazing, fabulous, wonderful? Come on. I need all the details. I live vicariously through you."

"Ugh, fine you pervy bird," Lily said, shoving her shoulder before jumping into the story.

When she finished, Amira had her head in her and was leaning forward slightly, a glazed look over her face. "Why is it that whenever I go out I never run into quidditch players with delicious bodies? I always get hit on by the creepies. So are you going to see him again?"

Lily shrugged. "Probably not. We didn't really talk much when he came over." For the first time that morning she blushed. "His mouth was otherwise engaged for most of the evening."

"I'm so jealous of you," she sighed before draining her teacup. "Well I've got to run. I'll meet you later. Who knows, I could do some looking around- maybe bat my eyelashes at those boys in the sports department- and have you 'accidentally' bump into him again." Lily waved her off and went back to her work.

Amira returned a few hours later after lunch just as Lily was finishing up a report on the black market dealings of goblin made jewellery. She wore a slight frown as she sat down. "Looks like you're going to have to wait a while before you see Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome. He signed a deal with the National team this morning. They'll be on a European tour for the next three months."

"Pity," drawled Lily not sounding bothered the slightest as she tapped away on the typewriter.

Amira's frown deepened. "You really don't want to meet him again?"

"I'm not going to actively sought him out if that's what you mean," she scoffed, folding her hands. "Look, Mira, it was just a night with good sex. That's it. Nothing more. I don't really fancy a relationship right now."

"You haven't fancied a relationship for the past five years."

"Because men are pricks."

"Not even with dishy Potter?"

"Nope."

Amira sighed. "You're one odd bird, Lily Evans."

She flashed her a smile. "I know."

* * *

><p>Almost two entire months had passed since that conversation with Amira and thoughts of James Potter hardly ever sprung up again as her workload increased. She always felt tired and a few weeks after she had taken ill causing her to take almost an entire week off from work. It seemed as though nothing she ate could stay down anymore. And the most absurd thing was that she didn't lose any weight at all; in fact, it seemed as though she had actually gained weight. Most of her trousers had slowly become snugger and snugger over the course of the few weeks until none of them could button. She managed to fish out a pair of faded jeans from the back of her closet that could still snap closed. At least most of her jumpers could stretch but she had taken to stepping out of her boots and trudging around barefooted as soon as she arrived to the office.<p>

Now it was nearing Christmas and she was headed over to Mary's place where she was invited for dinner with a few others. However she faced the dilemma in which none of her clothes seemed to fit her properly, even after she had magically altered them. She stood in her bedroom while in her undergarments, silently fuming at the stack of clothing that was piled on to the bed. With a snarl she snatched at another one- royal blue and gold- and tried shimmying herself into it.

"Why- won't- it- go- up!" she grunted, each word punctuated with a hard tug at the zipper in the back. In a fit of pique she pelted her wand at the opposite wall and a series of red sparks shot out, slightly singing the bedspread. Lily sunk to the floor, trying her best not to cry. He back ached, her breasts ached, her feet ached, she still felt vaguely sick (especially whenever she smelt coffee) and bloated and so damn irritable all the time.

Lily angrily swiped at the few tears that rolled down her cheek before determinedly setting her jaw and standing up again. She snatched up her wand from the corner and with the aid of eleven more charms, seven attempts at impossible body contortions, two more fits in which she cried some more, threw other things besides her wand and a few mouthfuls of whiskey, and a whole lot of swearing, Lily finally managed to wiggle her way in to the dress. She couldn't find it in her to care enough that her breasts were practically spilling out and if she breathed too hard the seams might burst, so instead she shoved her feet into a gold pair of sandals (that she'll be kicking off under the table), took another swig from the whiskey bottle and apparated.

"Lily!" squealed Mary as she gave her a bone crushing hug. "I've missed you!"

She hugged her back, smiling widely. "I've missed you too," she said before passing her a prettily wrapped present. "Where's Alfred?" she asked.

"In his cot. He's been a right menace whole morning. He's finally lied down for a sleep," she said, looking towards the small crib where the baby slept.

"All right then," she said, pulling out a small stuffed bear from her purse. "I'll just leave this with you then."

"I'll put it with the others," she promised. "Honestly, between you and Jillian my child is going to be the most spoilt thing in the world. In fact, we'll add Amira to that list too. She bought him a set of pop books that he absolutely adores."

"Amira's here?" Lily asked, brightening slightly.

Mary nodded. "Yeah; along with Jill. Between you and me, I've locked away all the liquor. You all aren't getting anything besides wine. Come on, they're waiting for you in the dining room. They've been groaning about how hungry they are for the last ten minutes."

Lily threw her back and laughed. "That sounds like them," she told her. She followed Mary into the kitchen. Greetings, hugs and kisses were passed about before she finally took the seat in the middle of Jillian and Mary.

"About bloody time," scoffed Jillian. "I'm starving Evans."

"You're always starving, Jill," Lily said wryly before quickly passing her the peas. Her stomach had turned at the mere scent of it.

The gesture did not go unnoticed by Mary, who frowned and asked, "I thought you liked peas?"

"I do," Lily said quickly, "It's just that I've been feeling a bit under the weather. Not particularly hungry." Her stomach gave a slight gurgle and she flushed lightly. Luckily, no one heard it- or at least pretended not to. Almost every dish that was handed to her Lily quickly passed it over to Jillian. In the end, the only thing that was on her plate was a slice of shepherd's pie, a handful of carrots and a small amount of gravy.

Mary 'tsked' at her. "On a diet there Lils?"

"A bit," she hedged. "My clothes have been feeling a bit snug."

"I'm a bit offended that you didn't take any of my turkey," teased Reginald, "Usually we have to reserve half of it for you."

She took a deep breath to calm her stomach at the mention of the meat. "No thank you," she said quickly, taking a small sip of wine.

Mary shrugged. "Suit yourself," she said. "I'm going to end up eating all of the parsnips, that's for sure. Do you know how terrible it is to go without your favourite food for almost nine months?" she joked, before shoving her fork into her mouth and sighing. "Merlin I missed this."

"How was that, Mary," asked Amira, "The pregnancy."

"A right pain," Mary laughed. "I could hardly eat- especially spicy things because the heartburn was atrocious- and everywhere hurt-"

"And she was very mean to her husband," put in Reginald, swinging an arm around his wife's shoulders. "Throwing shoes at me, pelting me with clothes when they couldn't fit any more."

"I think one time I emptied an entire bottle of Firewhiskey down the sink," Mary mused.

Jillian gaped at her. "Bloody hell," she sputtered. "That's a waste of good rum. Remind me to never get pregnant."

"I second that," came Amira's quick response. "I don't think I can handle not eating samosas for nine months."

Mary laughed again. "Sometimes you really don't have a say in it," she teased them. "Especially if you forget to take- Lily what's wrong?"

All eyes had turned to Lily whose fork had dropped with a clatter onto her plate and whose face was almost as white as bone. "Lily?" Jillian asked, touching her arm gently. "Lily, love, are you all right?"

"I- um- excuse me," she said, pushing away from the table and almost tripping over her own feet in her haste to get to the bathroom. Her head was spinning. She couldn't be- No it was impossible. Surely she would have known already. It was almost two months ago since James was over. Surely one of them had the sense to cast a contraceptive charm or something. The details from that night were hazy at best- the two of them had more than a few drinks after all- but she certainly did remember shagging all over the flat- the wall by the door, the rug on the sitting room floor, behind the couch, on the kitchen table, on her bed.

Her breath was coming in short, fast pants now as she tried to remember the last time she had her cycle. The week or so before the reunion is the last that she remembered. A small sob escaped her mouth and it was then that Lily realised that she was crying. She quickly scrubbed away the tears but it was to no avail, they just kept on falling. Here she was, twenty five and pregnant all because of one stupid mistake. She slid down the wall next to the face sink and pulled her knees to her chest wrapping her arms around her abdomen. There was a little part of her growing inside of there; a little part of her and James.

A sharp knock at the door caused her head to snap up. "Lily," came Mary's voice. "Lily, are you all right?"

"I- I'm fine," she hiccupped.

She heard Jillian scoff from behind the door. "If you're not going to come out and tell us then we'll come in."

"Jill," Mary admonished. "If she doesn't want us in there, we should respect that."

"Fuck that," snorted Jillian. "This is barmy, even for Lily."

They descended into silence for a little while before it was abruptly brought to an end when Mary said, "You've got a point." There was an utterance of a charm and the door flew open. The two of them barged in, Amira standing in the doorway, only to stop short at the sight of her curled up on the floor in tears.

"What happened?" Jillian asked gently, sinking down next to her. Mary joined her on the floor as well. "Lily, love, what's wrong?"

She shook her head. She couldn't bear to tell them. What would people think of her? She's practically the town trollop at this point. Another sob escaped, and Mary started petting her hair while Jillian muttered nonsense to try and calm her down.

Eventually, after a few minutes, Lily finally relaxed enough so that she wasn't hiccupping when she spoke. She stared down into her hands, working up the courage to tell them.

"You all were talking about... Mary's pregnancy," she cringed as she said the word, "And it made me realise that I might be... pregnant too."

Silence rang out in the bathroom.

Amira sucked in a breath. "Is it-"

"Who else's could it be?" Lily cut her off, laughing bitterly. She placed her head in her hands. "I'm so stupid," she moaned.

Jillian and Mary shared a look. "Whose is it?" Mary asked Amira.

"James Potter," Lily answered. "The night of the reunion. We were both a bit tipsy and I ended up inviting him home and, bloody hell I'm so stupid," she cried, "I don't know what came over me. I've never done something like that before and the first time I do it I end up pregnant!"

She was crying again and Mary and Jillian went back to stroking her head and whispering what they hoped to be soothing words.

"Are you going to tell him?" Mary asked after sometime, still stroking her head. At this point Amira had come to sit down in front of her, saying nothing but holding on to her hand.

Lily weakly shook her head. "We haven't talked since that night," she told them. "Besides, he's off somewhere training for the national team." She wiped her face and bit her lip. "Do you think I should tell him? I mean, I don't even know for sure- I haven't had it confirmed or anything-"

"We'll come with you to St. Mungos to get it known for sure," promised Mary. "And then we'll work out the rest after that."

Jillian hugged her tighter. "Don't worry, Lily, we're not going to let you go through this alone."

* * *

><p>To no one's surprise, it was confirmed that Lily was pregnant the day after the dinner. Lily had never been happier to have her friends at her side. Mary gave her tips on what to expect, Jillian took her shopping for maternity clothes during her few days left in England and Amira covered for her at work, passing her stories to investigate during the next few weeks.<p>

Right now she was at the ministry with the hijaabi in question. She was here to interview the Head of the Department of Magical Sports and Games while Lily was here to find out more information on the alleged falling out between the English Head of Department of Magical Transportation and the Romanian Minister of Transportation over an unsettled bar tab. An overall boring topic but Lily didn't mind.

Amira had long switched over to determined reporter mode, leaving Lily to stand at the sides and keep an eye on her. She sipped her drink- a warm Butterbeer- and casually eyed the crowd. There were obviously several higher ups mingling about them and Lily wanted to leave here with at least three more pending stories to dig into.

She wouldn't lie though; it was near boring her stiff, being here with all of those people. Usually she needed a good drink to get through the night with her sanity intact but that was out of the question now. She had already gathered what she needed for the entire week and was itching to head home to write it. Not to mention that these shoes were practically murdering her feet. Honestly, haven't these people ever heard of chairs? Pregnant ladies shouldn't have to stand around smiling at fifty something year old men looking down her dress. During her and Jillian's impromptu shopping trip, they completely forgot about formal wear, leading her to wear the same blue and gold ensemble here again. Lily self consciously pulled up the neckline, mentally berating herself for forgoing a shawl.

Several minutes later (two bathroom breaks and a drinks refill included) Lily was just about to hex every male in the vicinity. She had stuck herself in a secluded corner, finding a barstool to sit on and virtually hissed at anyone who looked her way. She wished to leave, but to do so she had to tell Amira and Amira had been in deep conversation with the Head for the past twenty minutes.

"I thought I taught you better than this, Evans," a voice remarked. "Tsk, tsk. You never learn do you?"

Lily's eyes widened and her blood froze. He hands immediately dropped to hide her midsection. "Oh, er, hello," she waved shyly, the other arm firmly drawn across her stomach. James smiled at her and it was as though she had been transported back to that little balcony, just the two of them. James leant down to give her a one armed hug and maybe she imagined it, but Lily swore she felt his lips brush against her temple. If possible, she tensed even more. "I didn't know you were back in England," she said, her cheeks tainted red.

James ruffled his hair and smiled sheepishly at her. "I meant to write you but then I realised I didn't exactly know where to send it," he said, sidling up next to her. "You look ready to kill someone," he commented, looking her up and down, the smile slowly dropping from his face. "Who pissed in your cup?"

"Everyone in this bloody room," she said through gritted teeth, allowing her irritation to show because goddammit her back ached and feet hurt and here she was, pregnant and talking to the baby's father who didn't even know he was going to be a father. Bloody hell, she would kill for a drink right about now.

James grinned at her and pulled out the flask. "Always be prepared, Evans," he said sagely, uncorking it.

Lily quickly grabbed her glass out of the way. "Not drinking tonight," she told him.

He hitched an eyebrow. "Trying to test your patience?"

"Can't drink, really," she muttered more to herself than anything else.

Much to her dismay, James heard her and narrowed his eyes slightly. "What was that?" he asked.

"Nothing," Lily said quickly, her cheeks darkening. "Just that I wish I could leave now."

James chuckled, apparently believing her answer and pulled at the collar of his dress robes. "I know what you mean. These things are torture. At least you're not stuck in bloody dress robes. It must be a lot more comfortable in a dress." He eyed her outfit carefully, face impassive.

Once again Lily pulled up the neckline. "It's not, trust me. At least in dress robes you don't have anyone bloody gawking at your tits. I'm about to curse the whole lot of them."

A dark look crossed his face and he shifted half of a step closer to her, something that went unnoticed by her. "Tell me again why you're not drinking?" he said bitterly, swishing around his flask and taking a large sip. "If I was in your place I would have had their arses already."

"Well I don't particularly fancy a stint in Azkaban so I'm holding my tongue."

He breathed a short laugh. "What exactly are you doing here, Evans, torturing yourself?"

"My friend dragged me," she said, jerking her head towards Amira and wishing that she would just turn around already and get her out of here. Lily still didn't know if she wanted to tell James about the baby. If it got out to the press it would ruin his career.

James hummed noncommittally and the two of them trailed off into silence. Lily bit the inside of her cheek, contemplating the pros and cons of telling him. Pro, she wouldn't be alone in it. Con, he might very well leave her to fend on her own. She repressed a sigh and knocked back the rest of her Butterbeer.

"Need a refill there, love?" he asked, plucking the glass from her hands.

"James," she called out to him. "Don't spike it."

James grinned at her and winked. "Oh of course not."

"I'm serious, Potter," Lily stated firmly. "Don't spike it. I'm not drinking."

His grin dulled. "Are you all right, Evans?" he asked, scrutinising her face. "You've been acting odd all evening."

"I'm fine," she said tersely.

"Are you sure?" he asked. James glanced around before dropping his tone and saying, "I didn't mean to run out that night. I was just thinking of what you said and thought that I should go for it. They wanted my answer before seven that morning and the next few days were spent packing and figuring out paperwork and..." he trailed off, ruffling his hair. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. I actually like you a bit and I've gone and cocked it up-"

"Can we please have this conversation somewhere else?" interjected Lily pleadingly.

James slowly shut his mouth and regarded her strangely. "All right then..." he said slowly before leading her to the exit. She caught Amira's eye and motioned towards James. The older woman quickly pieced together what was happening and her eyes widened for a moment before she shot Lily a saucy wink and turned back around before her friend could even react.

He led them outside and Lily's hands were shaking. _'I'm going to tell him,'_ she chanted to herself. _'I'm going to tell him.' _It was empty save for a few men smoking about twelve paces away from them. Lily shook her head. "Somewhere else," she said again, "Where there's no chance of anyone hearing us."

"There's always my flat," James said slowly, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Could that work?"

Lily's mouth went dry. She sucked in a huge gulp of air before nodding once. James took her by her hand and apparated them directly into the sitting room of his flat. If Lily wasn't falling apart at the seams she would have thought the place pretty. But as it was, she was falling apart at the seams and was more focused on wringing her hands than the decor.

"You- you might want to sit down for this," she began, glancing up at him for a second as she paced back and forth.

He crossed his hands across his chest. "Come off it, Evans," he scoffed. "It can't be that bad, can it?"

"I'm serious James," she said sternly.

"I think I can handle it," he said, kicking the rug. "You didn't have to pull me over in private to tell me that you want nothing to do with me."

Her eyes snapped up to his. "What the hell are you on about?"

"You know what I mean. You don't like me. Fine. I'm sorry I harassed you this evening, but it became clear a few minutes ago when you panicked as I said that I like you-"

"That has nothing to do with it. Why would you think I don't like you? Of course I like you," she bit her lip.

He ran an agitated hand through his hair. "Then why'd you call me all the way-"

"I'm pregnant," she blurted out immediately, choosing to get it out and over with. She stared at him, gauging his reaction, hand on her wand and ready to disapparate at a moment's notice.

James' hand stilled in his hair and he froze completely as though he was hit with a body bind curse. Several seconds passed in which Lily stared at him, gnawing her lip raw while staring at him, with his hand stuck in his hair and looking like a deer caught in headlights.

"Come again?" he whispered, sounding strangled.

It sent a shard through her heart. "I'm pregnant," she repeated, willing herself not to cry. It didn't work of course; crying seemed to be the only thing she was capable of for these past few weeks. At the first sight of tears James snapped out of it and immediately gathered her into his arms.

"Don't worry," he muttered into her hair, pressing her head to his chest. "We'll get through this, love. You'll be fine."

"No, I'm not!" she wailed, weakly pounding against him. "I'm going to be a single mum with a child and a stupid reporter job to support the two of us; not to mention that everyone's going to think of me as some slag who jumps the first bloke she sees and gets blood pregnant!"

He pulled back from her for a moment. "Do you really think I'd let that happen?" he asked, cupping her face. The pads of his fingers felt rough against her skin.

Lily sniffed. "I don't know. I'm not really sure of anything right now."

He pulled her back in for a hug and the two of them sank down in front of the sofa in a pile. They sat there for a good while, Lily curled up against James' chest and his arms wrapped around her so that she sat between his legs.

Eventually she asked, "What will people think?"

He shrugged, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Who cares?"

"I care, James," she said, rubbing her eyes. "We're not even dating and I'm pregnant."

"We could be," he said offhandedly, closing his eyes. "Dating, I mean."

Lily studied his face. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"I've actually wanted to do that since the reunion, in all honesty," he said, grinning slightly and ducking his head. He reopened his eyes. "What do you say? Go out with me, Evans?"

"I guess," she said, biting her lip. "But what about everything else? Where do we go from there?"

"We can lie and say that we've been dating for the past year and a half," he said, nuzzling her neck. "Obviously people are going to disapprove- frankly I don't give a tosh about what they think- but it'll be less than if they found out that all of this was as a result of a night of drunken debauchery."

Lily snorted. "I think that's the most pleasant way of saying one night stand I've ever heard," she said.

James laughed slightly and ruffled his hair again. "How... How long have you known?" he asked slowly, peering over her shoulder at the barely noticeable bump there.

"Since Christmas," she sighed, placing her hands on her growing abdomen. "The healer said that I'm due in early August."

Hesitantly, James reached around her to cover her hands with his. They sat like that for a few moments, neither of them saying anything at all. Her back was pressed to the front of his chest and he could feel her heartbeat, every shuddering breath she took, each muscle that moved. He pretended to feel another heartbeat along there with them. Not two anymore. Three.

"How are we going to make this work?" she asked after some time. "I feel as though I don't know a single thing about you."

"I think we know some things about each other," he refuted. "We did go to school with each other for seven years. I don't think I've changed much since then."

"Really?" she said, a hint of a smile sneaking on to her face. "What's my favourite sweet then?"

"Sugar quills," he answered promptly. "What's mine?"

"Chocolate covered pumpkin pasties," she replied, wrinkling her nose delicately. "It used to make me so nauseous before just think of it."

"Used to?" he questioned, grinning slightly and resting his head on her shoulder. "What do you mean by used to?"

She coloured slightly. "It doesn't make me feel nauseous now- surprising actually since everything does these days. In fact, it actually sounds... appealing." Lily made a face. "Merlin, I'm not looking forward to this."

James laughed, pressing a kiss to the exposed skin of her shoulder. "Come to the kitchen then; I'll make you a snack."

He helped her to her feet. "I have no doubt in my mind that this is your child," she said to him, her blush darkening as she said those words. James grinned and leant in to press a small kiss to her lips that took her by surprise.

"Glad to know that your food preferences is the equivalent of a paternity test," he rolled his eyes and took her hand, leading her to the kitchen.

So maybe they hadn't worked out all the kinks as yet in their newfound relationship. Lily giggled at his terrible jokes and James gave her that stomach swooping grin that he was so adept at doing while tightly gripping on to her hand. Maybe things were messed up between them but as they sat there in his immaculately clean kitchen (he had confessed that he only used it to make tea since he was shite at cooking) eating what she had previously deemed a disgusting desert, they thought that they could just make things work.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I know next to nothing about pregnancy and textbooks don't really go into a lot of detail so I sort of ratched quite a lot of things when it came to that part. Also, I'm about 90% sure that the title has nothing to do with the actual story but it's a bit of a dirty joke involving the untold happenings that unfurled between that chapter and this one.<strong>_

_**:) xoxo Nai**_


	8. Like Like

**_Single Parent and Teacher au. I sot of see Harry and Lily having a bit of a Matilda/ Miss Honey relationship because Lily positively dotes on him even though she's not to be playing favourites. Also, I couldn't come up with a proper name for this so we're just calling it 'Like Like' based off of the playground question, 'Do you like me, or like like me?' because I am a dork._**

* * *

><p><strong><span>Like Like<span>**

* * *

><p>Parents' days were either fun or a right pain in the arse. As a year one teacher, Lily didn't have much to talk about with most parents and in her mind that was all well and fine. Some parents were all smile and laughs and let you say your part quickly and leave. Those were her favourites to deal with. Others liked to sit and talk and talk and <em>talk<em>. And they could talk about everything and anything. Their child was their absolute pride and joy and they made sure that the world knew about their every achievement. That was nice and all, but Lily wasn't particularly keen on sitting down, smiling and nodding at the animated couple in front of her for the past twenty minutes or so. Right now they were talking about how neat their daughter's handwriting was for a five year old. She wanted to bash her head into the desk.

Finally- _finally_- they stood up. "Time sure flies," the man laughed, helping his wife out of her chair. "Emily has piano classes at four."

"She's such a lovely pianist," the mother cooed, pinching her daughter's cheeks. Lily kept on smiling and nodding. Emily gave her a toothy grin.

"We must be going. It's been a pleasure Miss Evans," he said, sticking out his hand for her to shake. "I hope we can do this soon again."

_Oh god I hope not_, Lily frantically thought, even as she continued to smile and shook each of the parents' hands. "It has," she lied.

A few more pleasantries were exchanged amongst them as they headed towards the door. Lily continued to wave right until the sole of Emily's pink shoes disappeared. She immediately slumped against the desk, delicately pinching the bridge of her nose as she repeatedly hit her head against the wooden surface.

The sound of the chair scraping against the linoleum classroom floor a few seconds later caused her to snap back up. A man with wildly messy hair was sitting across the desk from her, grinning widely. He was dressed in an old t shirt of a band that Lily used to love, dark jeans and converse, seeming to be no older than her twenty five years.

"You must be Harry's dad," she said immediately, stretching a hand across to shake with his. A light blush decorated her cheeks as she realised that this man had just walked in on her banging her head against the desk. He seemed to realise so as well as he smirked a bit. "I can tell by the hair."

His grin widened and he ruffled his hair with a free hand. "James Potter," he introduced himself as. "It's nice to finally meet the Miss Evans that my son cannot shut up about. I hope you won't trying to kill any brain cells because of me," he joked.

Lily's blush darkened. "No, of course not," she said hastily. "I'm just...er, tired."

"Ah yes; I've heard hitting your head against hard surfaces is a proper remedy for tiredness."

To save herself from further embarrassment, she immediately switched topics. "You can call me Lily," she said before mentally kicking herself. Call her Lily. What the hell possessed her to tell him that? She didn't tell any other parents to call her Lily. There goes sparing herself any further humiliation in front of the good looking man that sat before her. Oh god, did she just think that? What was wrong with her this evening? Maybe he was right; she had killed off a few brain cells while knocking her head. "Harry is wonderful student," she said quickly lest she accidentally say any of the things that were flitting through her mind. "He's very smart for a five year old, although he can be a bit...rambunctious at times," she said delicately.

James gave her that crooked grin again. She gripped onto the edge of the desk that was out of his sight, stomach swooping. That was not good. "Glad to know I haven't completely messed up the poor kid," he said, pushing up his glasses.

She shook her head. "Not at all Mr. Potter-"

"James," he interjected. "Just James."

Lily found herself blushing again. "James," she said firmly, looking up at him and grinning. His previous grin hadn't wavered since then. Something clicked between them, leaving a sparkle in his hazel eyes as he stared back at her. There was that damned swooping again...

"Dad!" a yell interrupted... whatever was happening between them, and two sets of eyes flashed towards the door. "Daddy!" yelled Harry again as he ran towards them, one grubby hand closed into a tight fist and the other pushing his glasses up just like his father did moments ago.

James' face broke out in a grin and he held his hands open, grabbing Harry around the middle. The boy screeched with delight as his father tickled him. "What's up, buttercup?" James asked, pulling him onto his lap and messing up his hair.

Lily felt her jaw drop slightly as she viewed the two of them side by side. Harry seemed to be a split image of his father. The two of them looked exactly alike with only a few minor differences here and there; James was a bit darker in colour, Harry's face still had the softness and roundness of childhood. Other than that, everything was same. Same hair, same nose, same eyes. Lily found herself blinking several times in quick succession as she tried to process it all.

"Look what I found!" Harry said before proudly sticking out his fist and opening it.

The smile slid off James' face. "Oh blo- blast," he corrected himself hastily, glancing up at Lily and colouring slightly. "Not again, mate," he muttered.

There was an earthworm wriggling around in his palm and Harry grinned proudly as though it was the greatest thing ever. James brought an exasperated hand up to his face. Meanwhile Lily stood up and placed her hands on her hips.

"Now Harry, what did I tell you about bringing worms into the classroom?" she asked, fixing him with a stern expression.

His face fell slightly. "Not to do it," he repeated in a monotone with a slight pout.

Lily nodded. "Good," she said. "Now go put him back outside in one of the troughs and come here to wash your hands."

Harry nodded solemnly and his glasses slipped down his nose. "Yes Miss." He hopped off his dad and tottered away. He bent down right by the edge of the classroom door and threw the worm away with all his might. Lily giggled. At least he got rid of it outside this time and didn't put it in Suzy Wilkinson's hair again. Harry ran back in and jumped up on the stool by the classroom sink to start washing his hands.

James watched all of this with his jaw slightly agape. His gaze snapped back to her. "How...?" was all he managed to say.

Lily shrugged. "He's curious about the world. At least this time he didn't drag a cat in by the tail," she grinned.

James looked mortified. "Oh god," he said, "I'm so sorry."

"It's all right," she said easily. "He has- dry those hands with the towel, Harry Potter, and not on your pants!" she called out to the boy. He froze immediately, hands still dripping wet, and slowly reached out for the little towel hanging next to the sink. "Sorry about that," she apologised.

James looked impressed. "Wow. You're good at that," he said. "You weren't even looking at him."

"You should see me when there's thirty of them to worry about," she said dryly. James blanched and Lily had to stifle a laugh. "As I was saying, he's a good student, although he has a certain tendency to pull a few pranks every once in a while. Nothing major of course," she was quick to reassure him, "Just minor things, like switching the paint labels so that some students have blue suns or putting worms in their bags."

He ran a hand through his hair again. "Yeah, he probably gets that from me," said James. "I was a bit of a troublemaker back in school. Having him hang around with my mates probably doesn't help with that either."

"He's very good at everything else though," Lily said, "And he loves animals; keeps trying to bring them into the classroom that one is. Does he have any pets at home?"

James shook his head. "It's just me and this little bugger," he said, scooping Harry back up on to his lap.

Lily couldn't help but smile as she watched the two of them interact. He seemed so young to be a father, but she could tell that he was trying his best and after today, she knew that he was better than half of the other parents who had showed up.

"Daddy," interrupted Harry. James, who was bouncing him up and down, stilled in his actions. "Can we go out for ice cream after?"

"Sure thing, mate," said James.

"Dad," Harry started again. "Can Miss Evans come with us?"

Lily's cheeks immediately flooded with colour. "Oh no, Harry I couldn't possibly-"

"Why not?" asked James, cutting in. "If I were you, I'd love to go for ice cream after a wretched day like this."

"Hey! It wasn't a completely wretched day," she protested.

James snorted. "It was wretched enough for you to start hitting your head against the desk."

Lily bristled. "Can you please stop pointing that out?"

"Nah, it's fun getting you riled up," he smirked. The same sparkle from before was back again in his eyes.

"You and I have very different versions of fun, Mr Potter," Lily said, packing away the roll book in to the draw.

James' eyes narrowed slightly. "I think getting ice cream is fun, _Ms Evans_," he said pointedly.

The two of them stared determinedly at the other, James with his eyes narrowed behind his specs and Lily with a fiery eyebrow hitched, giving him her best 'stern teacher' look while trying her best not to smile. Meanwhile Harry was sketching away on a sheet of paper with crayons, blissfully oblivious to the tension brewing between the two adults above him.

After a few minutes Lily finally relented and sighed, "Why do you insist on me accompanying you for ice cream?"

"Because Harry wants you to come," he replied promptly, placing his hands on his son's shoulders.

Lily leant forward slightly and observed him over the top of her steepled fingers. "Only Harry?" she asked.

His ears turned pink. "All right, I may want you to come a bit too," he ground out at last. "Because I think you can use an ice cream and since I can't offer you a drink, for obvious reasons," he said quickly, looking down at Harry who was diligently colouring away.

She shouldn't do this. She really shouldn't do this. It could get her in some serious trouble, especially if the administrative found out that she went out with a student for non academic reasons. Still though, Lily found herself saying slowly, "It takes me a while to lock up here."

A brilliant grin overtook James' face and Lily rolled her eyes, trying not to grin too. She quickly started packing away things and to her surprise, James stood up as well to help her, closing the louvers and pushing in the chairs meant for tiny bodies.

"What're you drawing there, mate?" she heard him asked Harry as he went to fetch the crayons. Lily pretended to busy herself with packing back the chalk while she listened to them.

"Miss Evans," came the reply.

James snickered. "It looks like her head is on fire."

"She's pretty," Harry said a matter-of-factly.

There was a low sigh and Lily had to strain her ears to hear what he said next.

"Yeah," he muttered lowly, picking up the crayons. "Yeah, she is. She's very pretty."

Yes, Lily thought as she secured the classroom door before walking over to where James and Harry stood, this was a very bad idea, but as James grinned at her again with that stupid sparkle, she felt her stomach swoop and she couldn't find it in her to really care.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Until next time, lovelies<strong>_

_**xoxo Nai**_


	9. Nice Things

_**This one was supposed to be up a while ago but I sort of forgot. Whoops.**_

The little shop was old and run down, with a cracked window to the front and several adverts stuck to the front door that were at least three years old. She pushed open the door and a bell jangled half heartedly overhead. The middle aged man at the counter lazily looked up before going back to his crossword puzzle. Immediately he froze and his gaze snapped back up to her.

Lily had to repress a smirk. Sometimes they made it too easy for her. Her heels clacked against the grimy terrazzo as she pretended to scan the shelves. A few moments passed before she turned to face the man who was still obviously gawking at her. "Excuse me?" she asked, sounding properly frazzled. His eyes travelled away from her chest and too her face. "D'you think you can tell me where the crisps are? I'm sort of in a hurry."

He sputtered for a moment. "Third aisle," he coughed, a splotchy blush covering his cheeks.

She flashed him a pretty smile before hurrying over to the designated aisle where she picked up a packet of crisps, a chocolate bar and a bottle of water. Lily stalked over to the register and handed him the few items, pretending to wait impatiently as he rang them up on the till.

"I'm so late for my flight," she groaned as he clumsily entered the numbers for the third time. "I was supposed to be at the airport for ten and it'll take at least an hour to get there from here."

The man bagged the items and surreptitiously checked his watch. It was already 9:45, Lily knew this. "Um," he cleared his throat, staring fixedly at the counter as he handed her her things. "That'll be three fifty."

She handed him a five pound note before gasping. "Oh no!" she said, "My engagement ring! It's missing!" She waved her bare left hand at him.

"Did you have it on when you came in?" he asked, looking up at her. Lily schooled her face into a worried mask, biting her lip.

"I always have it on," she said, sounding close to tears. "I'm getting married next week. It can't have gone missing." She pretended to sniff. "My fiancé is going to be so upset. The ring cost a fortune. And I can't stay to find it or else I'll miss my flight. This is a disaster!"

A hand knotted itself into her dark red hair and she began pacing back and forth. "What am I going to do?" she bemoaned, her voice wavering slightly. A single tear ran down her cheek and Lily brushed it away, but only after she was sure the shopkeeper had seen it.

"Where're you heading to?" he asked gruffly.

"France," she sniffed. "For my wedding."

The man passed a hand over his balding head. "If I find it I can always mail it to you," he said slowly. "I hate seeing pretty ladies like yourself distressed." He smiled what he thought to be a sympathetic smile but all it did was send shivers down her spine.

Instead she pasted on a grateful smile to her face. "Really?" she gushed, eyes bright, "You'd do that? Oh thank you so much!" She leant over the counter and hugged him quickly, cringing as she did so. "Here, I'll write down my contact information for you." She fished out a notepad and pen from her purse and quickly scribbled it down for him.

"Don't worry, Marie," he said, squinting at the paper. "I'll find it for you."

"Maria," Lily corrected him with a smile.

"I always liked Spanish girls," he said with another one of those creepy smiles. Still though, Lily managed to keep her smile in place and even mustered up a small laugh.

Lily grabbed her bags from the counter and walked towards the door. "Thank you," she said once more, "If you do find it, I'll send you a reward; five hundred pounds."

The man's eyes bugged out of his head and as soon as the door slammed shut behind her, he dropped down to the floor and began searching.

Lily didn't walk very far; the car was parked behind an adjacent building and inside James was tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. She jumped into the passenger seat and tossed him the bottle of water.

"I told you I wanted a coke," he pouted, catching the plastic bottle one handed without looking.

She rolled her eyes at him. "They didn't have any. Plus the man was scaring the shite out of me," she shivered as she remembered his unpleasant gaze roving up and down her person. "Next time you'll wear the miniskirt and a t shirt two sizes too small for you."

He laughed and leant over to kiss her cheek. "All right, love," he said soothingly, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. "How long do we wait?" he asked, stealing a crisp from her and breaking off a piece of the chocolate bar.

"An hour," she said, trying to claw off the shirt. "Bloody hell I can't get out of this," she complained, pulling uselessly at the fabric.

James reached behind and pulled one of his shirts out from a rucksack. "Throw that on over it. I'll help you out of the t shirt later," he winked suggestively at her and let his hand trace down her side.

"Go try your lines on Mr. Scary and Freaky behind the counter," she told him, pulling out a cheap plastic ring from the glove compartment. James pocketed the ring and stole another crisp from her. The two of them sat in the car, the air conditioning on full blast while the radio hummed in the background, sharing the packet of crisps and talking to each other. Eventually, Lily looked at her watch. "Your turn," she told him, pushing his shoulder lightly. "Time for you to work that acting magic, Potter."

"Mmm, try not to miss me too much while I'm gone, Evans."

"Oh my heart is already aching at our separation," she said dryly.

James grinned at her before sending her one more wink and walking away. He hummed a cheery tune as he turned the corner and the shop appeared in his sight. The same bell sounded as he pushed it open.

"Hello?" he called, stepping into the room. The man popped out from one of the aisles, hair sticking out every which way and glasses askew. James had to stifle a smirk. Lily had really done a number on him. "Where're the drinks?" he asked.

"Back aisle," he replied gruffly before disappearing back into the aisle to search for the alleged missing ring.

James nodded and took his time walking over to the refrigerators in the back. He pulled out a bottle of coke before glancing over his shoulder to make sure the owner wasn't watching him. Once he was sure of this, he fished out the ring from his pocket and placed it on the shelf. "Hey, what's this?" he asked loudly.

There was the sound of something crashing to the floor and the shopkeeper scrambled over to where he stood. "You found it!" he exclaimed, reaching out to grab the ring. James however was faster as he snatched out from beneath his grasp.

"Found it, eh?" he said, an eyebrow hitched. "Was missing?"

The man nodded and watched with hungry eyes as James flipped the ring in the air. "Yes, now give it here, boy."

James hid it behind his back. "Since it was lost," he began thoughtfully, tapping his chin with his finger, "I think I should get a reward for finding it."

The man's eye twitched. James stared unflinchingly down at him. Finally he relented, sighing heavily. "Fine, two hundred pounds."

"Two fifty."

"Look here, kid-"

"Hey, you want the ring or not?" James asked, smirking at him. The man glared at him. Five minutes later James was stuffing a wad of bills in his pocket. He grabbed his coke and left, tipping an imaginary hat towards the man.

"That was faster than usual," Lily commented as he returned to the car.

"You shot the poor man's nerves to hell," he said. "He really wanted to see his- what was it?- Maria again."

"Poor fellow," Lily said without much regret. "How much did you get?"

James handed her the wad of notes. "Two hundred and fifty," he grinned, "I'm taking you out for dinner tonight."

A hand gently fell onto his knee. He turned his head to see Lily's face right next to his. "I thought you were going to help me out of this?" she asked, her hand inching up bit by bit.

James smirked and tangle his hand in her hair, bring her closer to him. His breath ghosted over her face as he spoke. "We need food, Evans. Plus when was the last time I did something nice for you?"

"You can order take out," she whispered, her hand slowly dragging up his thigh, "And we'll stay home. Then you can do something _really_ nice for me."

He barely noticed her victorious smirk as her leant in, claiming her mouth with his in a rough kiss. "Take out it is then," he said raggedly once they parted. "And then we'll do those nice things." His nose skimmed over her jaw as he moved his mouth over to her ear where he whispered what exactly 'nice things' he intended to do for her this evening.


	10. Foolish Wand Waving

_**I may have reblogged some AU prompts on tumblr and one may have been about meeting while buying condoms and it may have been requested so um ta da?**_

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><p><span><strong>Foolish Wand Waving<strong>

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><p><em>'<em>_There's nothing wrong with buying condoms,'_ James chanted in his head over and over like a mantra. '_It merely shows that not only are you a responsible adult, but a responsible adult that's more than likely getting some later.'_

Or at least that was how Sirius reassured him at any rate.

Except he wasn't getting laid later and he was a far cry from a responsible adult- person- thing. Instead, he and Sirius came up with this stupid (albeit genius) idea for a prank. They had both gotten an email stating that class was cancelled in the morning and what better way to celebrate not having to pretend to pay attention to their philosophy teacher drone on and on than with a prank?

It didn't take much to get them rearing for it anyway. Earlier that day, Snape had switched the sugar and salt jars at James and Sirius' table before they arrived for breakfast, leaving them both retching after making their tea. They were both hell bent on getting swift and a thousand times more embarrassing revenge on him.

Enter condoms.

After the initial rejoice over not having class, a wicked grin broke out across Sirius' face. He had it on good account that Snape did have class the next morning, meaning that his dorm would be empty. Meaning that their swift and a thousand times more embarrassing revenge could be executed.

"I know exactly what to do," Sirius grinned before drawing a pot of what looked liked seemingly regular glue closer to him. "I saw him chatting up your redhead bird a while back."

The back of James' neck heated up. "She's not my redhead anything," he said awkwardly, "Just the girl who works the counter at the drugstore."

Sirius scoffed and rolled his eyes. "That you like to chat up every time you go there," he accused, "Besides, I got it out of Reg that sometimes she even goes up into his dorm. Don't know how they manage to that without anyone prattling. Guess it might be because everyone knows that there's a greater chance in me failing to look handsome one day than Snape actually getting anything."

"Hang on a tick," James said, frowning, "Didn't they have that huge falling out some months ago?"

Sirius shrugged. "How am I supposed to know? I don't keep tabs on the broad," he said. Without waiting for James to put in his two cents, he continued, "Back to the prank; I need you to get me as much packs of condoms as possible. The small ones preferably."

James' eyes widened. "Come again? Why do we need those for a prank? And why do I have to go get them?"

An arm slung behind James' shoulders. "I reckon we should do a bit of redecorating for Snivelly, don't you?" asked Sirius, "And you have to go because I, unlike you, have a reputation to uphold."

"What, and I don't?"

"No, not really."

James shoved Sirius away and the latter stumbled into a desk. "You're an arse," he said bluntly. "Your idea, you should go get it."

"I don't have time for this," Sirius groaned, checking his watch. "The store closes in twenty minutes. Why don't we flip on it?"

James searched around his pockets for a moment before throwing Sirius a coin. "Calling heads."

With a nod, Sirius threw it in the air and caught it, smacking it on the back of his hand. "Good call, mate," he said, showing him the coin before slapping his back. "Have fun at the store," he called out, throwing some notes his way as well as a coat. James reciprocated with a rude hand gesture.

Ten minutes found him outside the drug store, steeling his nerves for what he was about to do. Sucking in a breath, he pushed open the door, cringing at the bell that alerted everyone of his presence. Hello fellow customers don't mind me, just here to pick up some condoms.

Thankfully, the store was virtually a ghost town. He released the breath he held before grabbing a basket and setting off down the aisle. He stopped in front the neatly laid out display and grabbed the smallest size he could find, throwing all of it in the little basket.

Oh yes, James was definitely the epitome of not a responsible adult and definitely not getting laid that night.

He turned on his heel and walked back to the front of the shop, trying his best to act as though buying out the smallest size condoms on a Sunday night was something he regularly did and it was a totally and completely normal thing to do. The hard part was next though. Hopefully the cashier won't judge him _too_ much. He was going to kill Sirius Black.

As he approached the counter, James stopped dead in his tracks and the basket almost clattered out of his hand. Long, dark red hair covered the side of her face, but James was ninety nine percent sure he knew who was there at the counter.

He was going to fucking murder Sirius Orion Black when he got back home.

Just his bloody luck that the one time he didn't want to see the amazingly funny and pretty girl he had a crush on (not that Sirius knew of course, he just liked to take the Mickey), would be the one time the two of them were alone in the entire store. He had been working on trying to get her to go out with him for ages now and all of that effort was about to go down the drain because of this dumb prank. Running a hand through his already mussed up hair, James decided that his best course of action would be to bluff his way through the entire, painful ordeal. His signature smirked gripped his lips and he stuck his chest out as he walked up to her.

"Evans," he greeted, trying to repress the heat gathering at his cheeks. "How goes things?"

Lily glanced up from the magazine she was idly flipping through at the sound of his voice. "Potter," she replied, stowing it back on the rack. "What brings you here two minutes before closing time?"

James shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing much. Just needed some supplies is all," he said lightly, his grip on the basket handle tightening. Without another word, he lifted it up and emptied it in front of her.

Lily's eyebrows rose as she took in the slew of boxes he had just thrown in front her. She glanced back up at him and bit her lip in an effort to try and contain her smile. She picked up a pack and examined it, and James shoved his hands into his jeans pockets to stop himself from messing up his hair again. "Rather ironic considering what a massive prick you are at times," she said, her voice tainted in mirth, "I guess you've got to make up for it somehow."

His cheeks blazed as almost as bright as the box she still held in her hand. "Well it's not for me," he huffed, giving into the urge to run his hand through his hair and causing it to stick up every which way. "It's for… a friend."

"A friend," she said flatly although her eyes were glinting happily. "Your friend wanted you to buy him over twenty boxes of condoms?"

He was going to strangle Sirius Black with those condoms as soon as he got home. "Yes," he nodded once, "He has a lot of, ah, _fun_ planned for them." Well, it wasn't necessarily a lie.

Her lips twitched and she started to ring up the amount on the register for him. "I can imagine," she snorted, placing them into some bags for him. "You- I mean your 'friend'- will have enough fun to last for months."

His mouth fell open. "You still think they're for me, don't you," he accused.

"We all have things we don't like other people knowing," she shrugged, scribbling something on his bill before she handed over his bags.

He handed her the money. "Bloody hell I can't believe you think this is for me," he groaned.

Lily locked the register and walked out from behind the counter. She patted his arm soothingly. "It's alright, mate," she said, "Not judging."

"Are too, judging,' he replied.

"Well, maybe a little," she conceded.

James glared at her. "Fuck off."

"Oh sweetheart," Lily smirked, he hand still resting against his biceps, "It looks like you'll be doing enough of that for the two of us."

James made a spluttering noise as he choked on air at her insinuation. "It's for a prank, Evans!" he said at last, "I will not be using this in any shape or form other than for that of the prank."

She looked up at him, still smirking, and crossed her arms over her chest. "I still don't believe you," she told him easily.

He mimicked her stance and the toe of his trainers rubbed against her shoes. "Well, I certainly know that it's true."

"Yes, but how can _I_ know if it's true?"

He shrugged. "You're just going to have to take my word for it."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Your word isn't really something I'd put a lot of faith in."

"You wound me, Evans," James gasped, stumbling back with a hand atop his chest.

"Good, now go home and sulk about it to Pretty Boy," she said, shooting a wink at him as she gently pushed him out the door. "It's already past closing time. I'm not going to stick around if any other customers decide to show up."

Easily, James stretched out a hand behind him and flipped the sign on the door so that it now read 'closed' instead of 'open'. "That was easy," he said, "You know what would also be easy? If you actually believed me."

"Hmm," she said thoughtfully, her eyes raking up his figure appreciatively. Once they settled back to his face, her smirk had returned full force. Again, she pushed him out the door and this time she managed to get him past the threshold. "The only way you'll actually get me to believe you is if I see some proof," she told him. And if that didn't have him short circuiting, then the wink she directed his way surely would have done him in.

James froze and he tried to figure out whether or not he heard her clearly. Once he deduced that he was not going mad and the Lily Evans he had been pining over for the last few months or so had actually said _that_, he rocked back on his heels and said, with a lazy grin, "I can make that happen if you'd like."

Her smirk widened. "Good. I'm free Friday."

He almost toppled over. "Wait," said James, mussing up his hair, "Are you serious?"

"Number's behind the receipt," was all she said before finally closing the door and locking it shut.

James stood in front of the drug store for a whopping two minutes, doing nothing except staring open mouthed at the spot where she stood. When he finally caught himself, he snapped his jaw closed and riffled through the bags before he came across the strip of paper she had tossed in there. Sure enough, messily scrawled behind it in blue ink was a cell phone number with the name Lily underneath and a heart over the 'i'.

He felt his lips curve up in a smile and he pocketed the receipt. Maybe by next Friday he'd be a responsible adult who was probably going to be getting some.

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><p><strong><em>My apologies for any errors. It was a bit slap dash and I didn't have the time to reread.<em>**


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